The problem with today’s wife

Last weekend, I had an interesting conversation with a gentleman who told me that he has finally figured out why there are so many unmarried women.

According to him, today’s marriage has been fashioned by and around women and it is no longer as attractive as it was in the past. Back then, marriage delivered serious social mileage for men, who would end up being treated like demi-gods and lived blissful lives of being served by (usually more than one) woman. How things have changed.

Today’s women are accused of making marriage a most unattractive proposition for the average man. To begin with, every woman wants to start her marriage with a fairy tale wedding.

She wants to leave all her friends luminously green with envy as she decks herself out in the grandest dress possible. She wants to be ferried to church in the longest stretch limo possible and to have a reception that shatters all records – never mind what it does to the bank balance of a fellow just starting out on his career.

Most brides today will squeeze all their fiancé’s pores and financial wells to ensure that their wedding earns the title of being best and most lavish. Bagging a man is not enough for today’s bride – she must also lead him to the altar in the grandest, most expensive manner.

What is driving most men nuts today is that the man is expected to pay for all of this. Brides conveniently forget the 50-50 sharing rule when it comes to wedding spending.

They also shift the goal posts when it comes to traditions and modernity. Only on matters wedding to brides insist that traditional rituals of paying ridiculously high amounts of bride price and having endless ceremonies be adhered to. So even when a man meets a girl he wants to marry, he almost always knows he is going to be skinned and rendered broke come wedding day.

When you add expense to commitment phobia, you understand why men are shying away from becoming grooms.

Men, on the other hand, believe that their sweeties should instantly become compliant and malleable wives who pander to all the whims and needs of their newly acquired husband.

In the past, most wives abandoned all their girlish ways to devote their entire lives and days to their wazees. Today’s wives refuse to shed the ‘gal’ tag when they become wives.

They demand their space and right to spend all day in a spa and all night with the girls. The 21st century wife refuses to put all her eggs in the mothering basket, and she views herself as entrepreneur, corporate queen and diva.

She has no qualms with delegating most of her wifely duties to the ever present nanny, house-help and even to her hubby. She feels nothing if she is domestically inept and cannot scramble an egg or iron her man’s shirt; outsourcing is her panacea for all chores.

So the chic wife demands and expects that her husband learn how to take care of the kids and house in her absence. He must be perfectly at ease with her girls’ nights out especially when she comes home too sodden to be of any use to him or her house.


Today’s husbands must learn how to servant spouses, unlike in the past where they were lord and king. To a man, the idea of marriage has lost a lot of its allure.

What irks men most today is that women are impatient and allergic to misery and suffering. Their mothers felt so blessed and lucky to have the hubby-home combo that they often put up with chauvinistic, overbearing, ill-mannered men who happened to be their husbands. Social convention had taught them to put up and shut up so that their children would grow up in a family setting, no matter how fractured and dysfunctional.


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