Honestly, I’m literally about to explode. Tired of the constant questions on dating and marriage, hook ups and the worst of recommendations. What is wrong with people? What is anyone’s business with your marital status? Why can’t people just learn to focus on their lives and allow you to live in peace? My big question is “how does it affect you, when I get married?”

Funny question right? Yes, it really bothers me to the hilt. The way people just harass you constantly on marriage, I’m beginning to wonder if they have some investment or deal they’ll receive when I do. Or did God tell you that your life will be much brighter and happier when I get married? I don’t think so, smh! So what is the problem? If I breathe, you say go get married. If I cough, you have a hook up. If I sneeze, you ask if there’s anything the matter. When I yawn, you worry over my status as if it’s a disease to be single. You create unwarranted pressure in a life that was doing just fine and believing God. You say you’re doing it out of love, but I suggest that if you really love me, you give me what I really need right now which is money. I’m a broke student and that is my main need. Lol

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Funny how everybody now turns you into a charity case when according to them, the clock is ticking. They come with all sorts of recommendations based on what they feel you would like. The minute you say you’re not interested, they get offended and ask if you’re ok. It doesn’t mean because you think it’s good for me that I have to feel the same way. People have preferences. Some they can overlook cause they are things that can be worked on and some that just can’t be tolerated eg smoking is a no no. They say you’re being difficult and choosy but truth is if you accept what you can’t tolerate because of pressure from people, you are in for it. All those people advising you to overlook it, won’t listen to you when it’s driving you absolutely crazy. They are married and won’t even bat an eyelid when you’re pulling your hair out. They’ll just ask you, “who forced you?” Many women that have suffered death or damage from abuse, hardly received help during those terrible times because everyone is focused on their own issues. So my take is, if you’re not going to help keep my sanity together when I get married to your obviously unfavorable option, I’ll say mind your business.

Gone are the days when I believed that I was nothing until I became a “Mrs.” They are long gone, never to resurface again, trust me! Yes, I am a strong woman, who can hold her own, because I have Christ. I don’t need anyone to make me happy because happiness is a conscious decision that is never dependent on anyone. If your happiness is dependent on another, you are basically “screwed.” Yes, really messed up. It means you don’t see anything good in your life that would bring joy to your heart and mind. It means that you don’t see anything valuable in your existence. Most of all, you don’t see yourself the way God sees you. So my point is, I am happy with my life, myself and all that’s going on it, both the good and the bad and my future hubby will just be the icing on the cake. That’s the way women need to start approaching life.  My hubby will not become my source of happiness but God, he will just become the one that makes it even better. I’m not going to start believing life is beautiful and actually enjoy only when I get married. God forbid oo. There’s too much awesomeness God has to offer to put my life, joy and progress on hold because I haven’t met the Love of my life (after God of course). Stop believing that you’re nothing until you become a Mrs. Stop thinking that you can’t become what God wants you to become until you have a husband. Like some ignorant man wrote on face book “A woman has no home until she’s married.” I really wish I could slap him upside his head for that dumb statement. Don’t put your life and progress on hold just because you have not met your “Lovely Hubby.”

You moving on with life and enjoying it doesn’t mean you have no intentions of getting married, it just means you refuse to be stagnated because one aspect of your life hasn’t clicked. It just means that you know you still have a lot to offer asides becoming a Mrs. I definitely desire marriage, with all the dreams I’ve had since I was a little child, lol. But I’ve woken up from those dreams to the reality of life that marriage is a big deal and I don’t want to go in day dreaming but fully alert. I don’t want a wedding but a marriage. I don’t want just a Mr., but a husband and true friend. I don’t want just a father for my kids, but a loving carer and protector. It’s not too much to ask but just stating the obvious. It’s called not settling for whatever comes because I want to fulfill all righteousness. Yes, It may sound choosy but I definitely won’t settle because there are weddings every weekend. No one is perfect and I’m definitely not looking for Mr. Perfect but believing God and preparing myself for my husband, that I can call my best friend, lover and no matter the trials we go through, arguments and rough moments, I can still look him in the eyes and say “I Love You,” and mean it.

Some get married early and while others get married late (according to societal standards), but it’s not the time you get married that matters but what happens after the wedding. Many are focused on just being a Mrs., but are not ready for the good and the not so good attached to it and at the slightest sign of trouble, they flee. Marriage is for mature people who are ready to tough it out, come what may. It’s for people that know they are not perfect and are willing to forgive the mistakes of another. It’s for people who are ready to put another person’s will before theirs (according to the will of God). It’s for those that know life isn’t just about them. It’s for those that are able to forgive easily and forget quickly. Marriage is awesome, according to testimonies I’ve heard from those that are definitely enjoying it, but the one thing they say is, it’s a lot of work. They always say that you have to be willing and ready to make it work. Even if it is God ordained, you have to do your part.

Age doesn’t determine maturity in anyway because I have met some old immature people and I just shake my head in shame. I feel for the kids they have brought to this world. Maturity is a conscious decision and no one, can make it for you. So whether the lady is 40, or 25, if she’s not ready for marriage, she’s not ready. When God sees she is ready, He will work all things out at that time, because there’s no point giving Rolls Royce to a 10 year old, he will never know the value and would just lose it. Stop this unwarranted pressure due to your selfish and myopic view on life. Don’t assume because you got married at a certain age, the rest of the world has to follow suit. Let people be. Allow them discover themselves. Let them discover their purpose of existence. Marriage is not the only purpose of their existence, but part of it. Marriage is not the only ministry God assigned to them. If I don’t know my purpose now that I’m single, I’ll definitely get lost  in marriage because I won’t have a mind of my own and there’s a high tendency I’ll do what everyone says should do, not because I want to but because I don’t have a clue of who I am.

I don’t care if Yewande or Bukky got married and have 100 kids, when it is time, I will definitely let you know. But until then, please don’t bother me and frustrate my existence. God is working and I’m cooperating with Him, so I assure you, it will come one day, just not when you want it to be. And to those guys that feel they are doing me a favor by proposing marriage and when I decline, they tell me that don’t I know time is not on my side, I say “go hug a transformer,” because you are clearly not the one.

Thanks for reading and God Bless. Much Love and Kisses.





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