Is it only me or have the women to marry become this scarce?


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I am 31 years old and completely confused because I do not seem able to find a partner to settle down with.

I have been in three relationships and none of them was fruitful, much as I did my best to make them work. The first woman I dated was recruited into the administration police.

After nine months of training she was posted to Nyanza and I would visit her every two weeks or so.

One day I went there without informing her. To my surprise, I found her entertaining another man in the house. I decided to end the relationship soon after that.

After a week, she came to Nairobi and begged me to forgive her. I did, although I still did not want anything to do with her. I left her at my house and when I came home in the evening, the house was empty. She had taken away everything.

After that, I was in and out of relationships until I met my former girlfriend from high school. We fell in love again and decided to pick up from where we had left off.

Again it was a long-distance relationship. She was in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and I was in Nairobi. We would visit each other at least once a month.

After some time, we agreed that we should have our first child. However, after two months of pregnancy, she called me to say that although she was going to have the baby, she wanted nothing to do with me. I could not believe it. I was so affected by this that I had to attend counselling for a month.

Now my parents are pushing me to settle down and they have even introduced me to two women. I do not think this is right and I have objected.

I have tried to find a partner but when a suitable one comes along, they are either in a relationship or have children.

My situation is getting worse by the day because when I am not working, I am at the bar drinking until morning. If I am at home, I sleep.

Sometimes I get lonely and find myself crying because I have no one to share, laugh, or even joke with in the house.

So, I humbly request your help in hooking me up with a good woman between the age of 28 and 33 years, one who is ready to settle down.

There was this woman called Stella in your column dated August 5. I felt like we were on the same boat, going through the same pain.

I also understand that you have a club for single people and in the month of September, you will be in Mombasa. Please inform me when you will be in Nairobi and the venue.

In relationships, it is one thing to be ready and another to find the right person to marry. I have a feeling that you need to sort out your love life first.

I find that a clear and sound mind helps in making choices that are well informed.

The relationships you have been through have left you skewed in a particular way.

Marriage is about finding a partner who will be your companion and friend, not just a wife. I really do not see this from your past. I suggest that you come up with a list of what you are looking for in a woman.

There are definitely many great women out there. I believe once you have resolved your personal issues, it will be easier to meet and recognise the right woman for yourself.

We will be hosting some forums and if they can be of help to you, I believe you will look out for them when we advertise them in the newspaper.

By Philip Kitoto

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