It is a new year and resolutions are in the air. All of a sudden, I’m surrounded by a people of resolutions. I don’t want to be the odd one out. I have also heard that by the second month of the year, everyone gets back to normal and continues with their lives, then wait for December to make other new resolutions. I am an exception, if the resolutions won’t work, I will work them out.
I take a blank note and start thinking. I have been too serious from time immemorial, someone complained. My face looked liked I was frowning all year long. I didn’t laugh to any joke, I don’t know if they were dry, or I was. I therefore resolve to smile widely and laugh with convulsions this year, but this means I have to first visit a dentist; so people will smile back at me instead of turning their faces in amusement.
Watch weight. Eat less. Go to the gym. Work harder. Read books. Delete some contacts. Keep off social media. Wake up early… to mention but a few. These are the resolutions ringing in my atmosphere, too much noise. I am forced to cancel out smiling, it is unheard of. I resolve to check my color, as my friends check their weight. Not that I am weightless, but my skin color turns necks, I doubt my weight. Maybe I will Google on how to reduce melanin, or discover a concoction that will make me appear white in the midst of white men, and normal, when with people of my texture. This year, I don’t want to answer questions on why I am black. When asked why I am black, I will be shocked. ”Oh my! Black? Did you say I am black? Are you sure? Someone give me a mirror!” The concoction didn’t work.
My friend says she wants to talk more. Her resolution is valid. It is not a resolution completion, but maybe I should add another resolution. I spoke too much the previous year. I ended up forgetting what I had said, and then said the exact opposite some time later. My listeners were confused, like I was. I didn’t understand why they didn’t get me right. What if I resolve to shut up this year? Maybe listen and listen more, then talk only when asked a question or when necessary? Sounds cool, hoping that no one will force me to speak or do something that will force me to talk, in fact, let me not talk about it.
“This year, I will stop looking at people anyhow.” I overheard that resolution over the balcony. Last year, I caught faces looking at me. It was shocking. Some left their mouths wide open, amazed! They never knew there exists such a human being, or call it a beautiful two legged animal without a tail. Others made their faces look like they were chewing a bitter herb, and made me do the same since I have the habit of empathizing. So I secretly resolve that anyone looking at me this year will be calling on me, and I will quickly answer to their call, or wave to confirm they are seeing me about to come. Or maybe, I could still close my eyes and pretend I saw no one looking at me. Good resolution.
On biting nails and sucking the thumb, my younger siblings had resolutions too. Stop bed wetting. Stop crying carelessly. Then I thought I should resolve to be like them, not in what they do, but personality. So this year I will be like a small child. Take everything as it comes.Forgive. Forget every hurt until my offenders get scared, and probably stop hurting me ha ha ha. This does not mean that I want to be sent all over, do this, bring this, and take that. No. I will be a stubborn child. Wow! My list is quiet amazing, hmmm.
New Year resolutions know my name too, yay!
By Liz Ekakoro:Diaspora Messenger contributor,