I have been following, with a lot of interest, the social media conversation around the Chuka University student who committed suicide after being cheated on by the love of his life. Kelvin Mugendi, who until his untimely demise was a second-year Computer Science student, made true his threats and hanged himself after penning a very emotional letter to a certain Njeri.
This is one of those rare moments when Kenyans online have unanimously agreed. And the verdict is that it is no longer cool to just end your life in the name of love, especially killing yourself in the same week that Gathoni Wamuchomba had beseeched men to marry more than one wife. I agree that it is illogical to kill yourself just because a girlfriend, someone you have known for less than three years is cheating on you. But looking at this issue from a logical point of view is wrong because in my opinion, it was more of an emotional decision rather than logical. And from an emotional perspective, I just have a different opinion.
Kelvin is not the first guy to meet his end because of love, he joins a long list of gallant men, some of them famous like Romeo, the Biblical Samson and even Jesus Christ (He died to save us all). A few years ago, the country witnessed a scenario of men chopping off their manhood because of rejection from their loved ones. As usual, we laughed and created memes out of it and forgot the whole incident.
If I was to conduct a survey on the rate of domestic violence in Kenya, I am quite sure that the results will not be good. It is not unusual to hear stories of a man who butchered his whole family or killed his wife because of small family issues. As a country, we have chosen to ignore this alarming trend of violent Kenyan men who kill their spouses or kill themselves or go berserk and murder the whole family.
Yet these events, point to a growing list of men with mental problems. Thanks to women empowerment initiatives and toxic feminism, Kenyans have created a very difficult environment for the boy child to grow and develop in.
The boy child is torn between culture and civilization. It is hard to grow up in a society that tells you you’re equal to your sister but again told ‘ladies first’ in certain situations.
The Kenyan man is suffering from an identity crisis; which for me is the main recipe for stress and depression. The boychild is not sure on whether to be the traditional alpha male or a modern man who cooks, washes dishes and changes the baby’s nappies. Unfortunately, most of those toxic feminists have never taken into consideration the effects their campaign has on the boychild.
In Kenya and Africa in general, we have a very negative perception of people with mental problems especially if the patient is a man. A Kenyan man should deal with his problems as a ‘man’ (I always find this ironical in a society that champions for gender equality.).
A Kenyan man with psychological problems is unlikely to seek help from a professional or even talk to a colleague about what he is going through because that is a sign of weakness. So, we have created a situation where men just bottle up their irritations, fears, stress and even depression. Psychologists will tell you that if you don’t seek help, you will worsen the situation and as we can see the number of domestic violence is on the rise.
As things stand, the Kenyan man is an endangered species, and if something is not done soon, we are creating a future in which our daughters will have no husbands. Let Kelvin’s death be a wake-up call to all of us.
As a man, you should be there for your brother. Find out what your friend is going through, take him out and show him that he is important, you may not know but you could be saving a life in the process. Kelvin didn’t just wake up one morning and hanged himself. I am sure there were signs that he was going through emotional turmoil. His death would have been avoided if one of his friends had read the signs and talked him out of committing suicide.
There is no shame in having a mental problem, you shouldn’t blame yourself for what you are going through because it is just a disease like diabetes or Malaria. Talking to another person about your suicidal thoughts will greatly help and if that is not enough, you should seek medical help.
Let’s act today… TALK TO A BOYCHILD AND HELP SAVE A LIFE.