This lady stood in front of the television. She was yapping about something, which apparently the husband was not paying attention to. “You don’t care about me anymore. All you do is eat, sleep and watch the world cup!” She was concerned that the guy had completely divorced her. “What is the difference between this and divorce? You might as well not be here!” She says. What?
The guy calls me, and wants me to call her and try to talk to her. Jazz, I am not qualified for this stuff. I admire women. I am always amazed at these women who take their four children to Wal-Mart! “ . . . James, stop it. I said Jill you are not having that. No, no Peter, I told you to stay in the cart.” I mean women, how do they do deal with this? Women are incredible. Just do not tell me to talk to them about your problems with them! I try to stay far, far away. The only woman I could talk to and who listened to me graciously was my angelic mother.
I tried to help my friend by telling him my father’s story. The problem is that he, against my advice decided to marry a modern woman. I mean a product of civil rights. I mean historical civil rights in America. He told me he wanted something different. He did not want a Kenyan woman. I know there is an attitude by Kenyan men about Diaspora women but they are still wonderful Kenyans. At least even though they ware pointed shoes, you can remind them of the day you got circumcised and they will not scream murder. This one is different! She would claim psychological abuse! She would call him a sexist of the first order!
Any way my father loved game meat! He was also a member of the National Rifle Association, if you know what I mean. He and my brother went to the forest in my village. My mother had questioned his manhood given that a porcupine was eating all her ‘gwashes’ and nothing had been done. The two men went hunting and got it! They decided to do to it what it had done to the sweet potatoes. They brought it home and were going to bring it into the house to cook it! My father could eat anything. I just watched. As they were about to walk into the kitchen holding this wild meat, my mother saw him through the kitchen window. “You and your son take that piece of garbage somewhere else. It is not coming in here.”
You should have seen the look on my father’s face as he made a U- turn faster than a matatu. He knew which battles to fight and those that were a lost cause. No wonder he stayed with this angel for 65 years! Phew! My friend’s lady cannot relate to Kenyan stories. The village women know also which battles to fight and which ones to let go. If it were a Kenyan woman, maybe she would know that fighting against the world cup is a losing battle. Trying to get the man not to watch England Vs. Uruguay? This Americana does not understand a thing! She has gone crazy! Help! It is a civil rights issue now. A Martin Luther King cause!
Yet again, I am not the one to ask. I have been absolutely un-productive. And I am proud of it because there is nothing like watching the French team. They are my predicted winners this year! Even my presentation to students at Oxford this summer is not working! Who cares about intellectualism? The world cup is on!
That is why I think the only people who can help this human rights activist in my friends house is other women. She needs someone to feel her pain. The guy is not feeling her pain. He has provided a house, she has a nice car, children, and he brings home the bacon. So, what is her beef? Man! World cup is brotherhood. The Psamist wrote, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard . . . for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.” Psalm 133ff. Keep the fellowship brazing boys! Rock on!
Teddy Njoroge Kamau (PhD) HTBluff Associates. #HTBuff
