Ladies:If you love Kenya,you should love the men too.


Dearest reader, this is very controversial;  I respect your views on it, and stand to be challenged.


“If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen.”

I mean, if we love our country, then the men are ours to love too, aren’t they?

I see you shaking your head, that’s just my opinion.  Let me drive it home. We have complained. Our men, are not this, they are not that. I choose not to mention, so you can fill in the blanks. Most of us want and expect that our men will behave like the men we have watched somewhere in the soap opera’s, or wherever; now that is just ridiculous.

I have observed and noted that the typical African, Kenyan man, is known to be rough and tough, if not so. He doesn’t have time to pet anyone around. His Mannes is shown by the strength of his voice, he thunders. He is commanding and demanding. He is the first to grab his seat. You (a lady) help him with his luggage. “Ladies first” is a big joke to him. He has the final say, whether or not he is right is none of his business. Just to mention but a few, you know them.  A man brought up in this kind of environment will be automatically programmed to act in the same way, he will learn from his fathers and that will be his definition of a man. Does this man have to blame for his “roughness?” I don’t think so. This man has not seen what you have seen in the outside world, at all. That obsolete mindset is still in him, and ruling him out because of this is unfair, as far as I am concerned.

Ladies, going for the white man because our own race is not gentle doesn’t sound so good to the ear; or because they are more understanding, caring, loving, name them all, is just no reason. Yes, there are reasons beyond our control, for instance if God destines you to be married to a white, then that’s it, you get. It has nothing to do with why not your countryman. What I know, and believe, is that our men are the best. I can say it again.

Our men can learn, if they want to. They can be gentle, if they choose to be, we have plenty of them, if we open our eyes wide enough. You don’t expect a man who grew up in the countryside all his life to treat you the same way a man who was brought up in the west all his life will. Some things  are just new to the other, and to learn them will take time. We want our men, who have never been to the west; to westernize overnight, that is expecting too much. After all, had we not known gentle men existed, everything would have been normal to us (Ask your grandmother(i.e if she is typically African)).  Now that we know, and thanks to God we do; our men have to be gentle to us. Just that they won’t get injected with gentleness, they must learn this art, it is just not in their nature as we know;  and we therefore  need to give them time to do so, and even help them get there, since no eruption is likely to take place as far as that is concerned, we know, though inevitable, change takes time.

The undeniable fact is that I love my country, with all that is in it; it has the beauty of the beauties, and of course, her men are the best in the whole world. No matter how black our men get painted, they are the best, the men of the country. Without them, we’d be nowhere. Every town has its own mad man, and a country therefore, with many towns, will have quite a good number.  Kenya is no exception. 10 cruel men will not make ALL Kenyan men bad. Neither will 100 uncaring men make the other caring non- existent. That is where we get it wrong, ladies. We have good men, great  Kenyan men, very gentle. Let us love and celebrate them, than paint them with a brush that doesn’t belong to them.

If we must generalize anything as to regarding our men, then let it be that KENYAN MEN ARE GREAT!

Otherwise, let us be specific. Let everyone carry their own blame, not the whole nation. Want to know why I get so irritated when a general Kenyan men are bad …comment is made? It is because not all Kenyan men are bad, we know that.  my father is Kenyan, gentle, loving, caring, and all the great things we say Kenyan men are not.  And there are plenty of them out there, we see them, we know them. Why not celebrate these few then?  Let us for once bring out the best in our men, who knows, they could even be motivated to do better, to become better. If we don’t praise them anyway, who will do it for us? They are our men, and as the adage goes, East, west, Home is best,  so are our men;  The best.  Let us keep it Kenyan, let us keep it real.

” If we love our country, we should also love our  countrymen. ” Ronald Reagan

By Liz Ekakoro:Diaspora Messenger contributor/Kenyan in Ukrain

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