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girls191014The other day a close friend of mine, who for one reason or the other believes being single is some dreadful disease, rated up there with the likes of Ebola, hooked me up with her colleague through Facebook.

Before going on our first date, five days later, we first got to know each other, of course through Facebook.

We thus went ahead and exchanged information on the social network, and chatted for hours on end before our first date. Meanwhile, I was ‘stalking’ him on the very social network — an art I have mastered over the years.

Who doesn’t ‘stalk’ anyway? All you have to do is give me a name and if that person is on Facebook or any social media platform, I will find out everything important about them.

Stalk someone

There is an indescribable adrenaline rush that comes with being able to stalk someone, and the fact that it is all discrete is a bonus, thank you Mark Zuckerberg.

You can find out about past girlfriends, political affiliations, favourite pass times, education background, people a person associates with, if he is a modern day father Abraham or one of those strange selfie obsessed men. You can literally learn everything about someone.

So as you can imagine our first and last date turned out to be one of the most awkward experiences of my life. Why, you ask? It was a case of too much too soon! There was nothing to talk about. I knew everything about him, and the thrill of personally getting to know each other wasn’t there.

The Facebook message equivalent of waiting two days to call a love interest is two hours. The ability to be instantly connect means that that period in the beginning of a relationship, where people are supposed to put in work and time to get to know each other is fast forwarded.

So although you have only gone on one date, the endless chats on Facebook, liking each other’s posts and stalking all leads to too much too soon, which literally kills any mystery or curiosity or even the need for romance or courtship!

 Potential dates

Yes, I love Facebook and not only because you can stalk exes, ‘frenemies’ and potential dates, but because it’s the best place to show off. You can show off new cars, weddings, engagements, babies, shoes, and even food.

And who can forget the self-esteem boosting qualities of Facebook. If your man is not showing you the attention you think you deserve, just take a picture of yourself and post it and in no time you have more likes than you can count. Yes, Facebook is one of the best inventions since sliced bread, however it is not perfect.

Pictures in the nude

It has for example created lazy women who think they can avoid working, and still earn a living by just cultivating a humongous butt, bleaching their faces, and prostituting and ‘socialiting’ themselves all over the Internet by posting pictures of themselves in the nude!

So, it’s with a heavy heart that I am forced to admit that Facebook is the bane of not just romance, but relationships and marriages.

It has created a platform where exes are just a click away; people who are married and dating can masquerade as single and unhappy couples can look happy by posting photos of themselves posing with fake smiles.

Needless to say, it is where couples air their dirty laundry for all and sundry. It has also created a fantasy world, where people can get lost and forget to water relationships in the real world!

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