MARRIAGE DOESN’T DEFINE YOUR EXISTENCE

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I know there are many ladies out there who are so troubled about marriage, especially because of their ages. It can be really burdensome just wondering, thinking when that man will appear. Sometimes you find yourself thinking for hours on end and find out that you achieved nothing but instead wasted time. Even when you decide not to focus on the issue of marriage, there are people around you who have made it their duty to remind you of the temporary trial you are experiencing. You don’t have a boyfriend, not to talk of a fiancé. You may think you’re the only going through it but believe me, there are millions of ladies around the world seeking that partner of theirs. But I know one thing for sure, like an old friend once told me, “Marriage doesn’t define your existence.” When she told me that, I meditated on it for a while and Holy Spirit completed it for me. Marriage doesn’t define your existence, neither does it make you who you are. It can only contribute to it positively or negatively and that choice will be yours to make. So, when it comes to marriage, you either get it right and for the right reasons and also in the will of God, if not, it will be a battle you will fight for the rest of your life.
  
I have never seen anywhere in the bible where it says that God will not bless you because you don’t have a husband. I have never seen anywhere that God said you are not good enough because you are not married. It is human beings that see life like that, not God. God is a faithful God and there is nothing that goes on that He is not aware of. You are a special creation of God, brought to this earth to do marvelous things. God planted mighty things in your life that will be a blessing to your generation. God did not say He will complete what He wants to do in your life when you get married. Never! He will only add to it. Marriage cannot make you who you want to be, but you alone. You are the only one that can decide how you want your life to be. People can only make suggestions and help you to a certain level, but at the end of the day, the ball is in your court. So who you are as an individual, does not depend on who you marry but depends on you alone. If you’re not a happy person now and you believe you’ll be happy once you get married, I’m sorry to say but you’ll still be as miserable as you are now.
I have seen so many people get married at the so called right time but right now are living the most miserable life. They desire to be single once again and envy the ladies that are yet to be married. It’s a big shame because I have always thought that when you get married, that is the beginning of greater things to come but it is the opposite that is happening. When you enter the institution of marriage for the wrong reasons or for partially right reasons, then you get no results or partial results. If it is money, one day, that money will not bring that satisfaction it once brought. If it is looks, that person will get all wrinkled or you will always find someone who looks better. But if it is God ordained, God will always renew and retie that chord of love that binds you together.  People just feel they have the right to decide how your life should be according to their myopic vision and the worst thing you can do to yourself is listen, because you will only be shortchanging yourself. Marriage is not just the wedding ceremony but the seconds, days, months and years after that. It is a forever thing. It is only death that can separate a husband and wife, no matter what anybody says. So it is not something you go into and say “I will work on it.” You go into marriage with your eyes wide open, ears clear and your heart lost in God. You don’t go into marriage just because of pressure or what you can get out of it. You don’t go into marriage because you feel you are getting old and that clock is ticking. I know a sister that the mother is always taunting her like Peninah to get married or go have kids. When she sees other young girls that are married with kids, she compares her to them and says hurtful things. But when God will answer eh, God surprised all her mockers.
Those people that are ridiculing you won’t be with you in your husband’s house. They won’t share the grief and the misery that awaits those who marry wrongly. They won’t receive the blows and punches for you. All they’ll do is laugh at you when it goes wrong and say I told you so. It is hard I know and it may seem like there is no hope but you can’t give up now when you are just about to receive from God. I know it seems so bleak but when it seems the bleakest is when God is about to surprise you. You just need to push yourself a little bit more and trust God. Don’t rush into marriage with a deficit that will deduct from your life until you are no more. My old friend said many people are in hell not because they wanted to end up there but because they married wrongly. As men of God always say, the next thing after hellfire is a bad marriage. Marriage is not to be endured but enjoyed.There will be times that things won’t be so smooth but that love between the both of you and Holy Spirit as your Senior Partner, will carry you through.
  
Use this time, this short time before you get married to work on yourself. My friend said, do all the things you want to do now because when you get married, it’s going to be all about your husband. Search yourself to see if there is any area of your life you need to work on because you can’t go into marriage saying you’ll work on it there. If it is your cooking, start taking cooking classes. If it is cleanliness, start living in your home and cleaning like there is someone there with you. If it is your relationship with God, spend all the time you can spend with God now because very soon, it’s not going to be you alone with God but you and your husband with God.
 
Soon and very soon, God will give you a new song. I don’t care how many disappointments you’ve had or how many people are ridiculing you, God has already done it and it shall surely come to pass. It may tarry but on that day, God will surprise and shut the mouths of your mockers. You shall rejoice. You shall sing your new song and dance your new dance. You will be celebrated whether the devil likes it or not. There shall be no more reproach in your life. I don’t care what your past is, where you’ve been or what you’ve done, because God has wiped it away with His blood and made you brand new, and He shall do what he said He would do.
 
REJOICE for the light and glory of God is risen upon you.
 

By Toluwalase Faith Ibilola

4 Comments
  1. Irene says

    Very good article. I know it spoke to me in more ways than one. Thanks and be blessed!

  2. Joyce says

    This is a great article.

    Marriage is wonderful, but I think in many ways we have made it an idol.

    I am especially talking about born again, church going Christians who think married people have ‘arrived.’

    Nowhere in the bible are we told that getting married is a sign of being more spiritual.

    I think it grieves God that so many women think there is something wrong with them because they are single.

  3. Esther says

    So ecouraging.

  4. Benjamin Njoroge says

    i say this with all due respect and for the sake of accuracy your title was misleading, you invoked marriage to tell us about God.
    i think this title would suit “God defines your existence”

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