Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Is anger affecting your marriage?

Simply because of this emotion called ‘anger’. There are prices to pay for your inappropriate behaviour.
For example, you might lose your job, your home, your partner, your children, your money, your security and even, should the law intervene, your freedom!
We have witnessed spouse killing partner, children or destroying property because of anger. Your health will also be affected and can be fatal in that anger can lead to high blood pressure and coronary heart disease, stress, digestive disorders, lack of sleep, skin problems and even affect libido or sexual pleasure.
You might feel tired all the time. But do you trust your partner enough to get angry? Are you able to understand your partner’s hidden fears, underlying motivations and expectations well enough to know how your anger will affect your mate?
How many times do you regret what you have done or wish you wouldn’t have said what you did or send that SMS?  How many times have you apologised for your behaviour?

If you are in a solid loving relationship, expressing and understanding your hidden emotions and articulating your irritations will ultimately bring you closer.

Early in a relationship some couples attempt to ignore their feelings and hide their anger. Many hold their feelings back from their partner because they are afraid that by showing their true feelings, their partner might turn against them.
However, anger is nearly impossible to hide. It can actually display itself in passive aggressive behaviour, where you might not even realise you are doing things to belittle your partner.
Anger is a normal emotion; but once it starts to hinder your relationship from growing into a mature and a committed one, it’s time to look deeper into the issue.
Anger in a relationship clouds your judgment in that you will have a hard time seeing the other’s point of view when having a discussion. Sometimes you get so angry with someone that everything they say is wrong or sounds hurtful towards you.
If you are becoming short tempered or you are complaining about every little thing that involves your relationship or your partner, be careful because anger may be hurting your relationship.
You may be justified in your anger, but if you expect any chance of a healthy relationship then it needs to be dealt with.
Couples fight but most of them do not fight for what they think they fight about. It’s not “money, sex, raising the kids, or in-laws. Most couples fight because they inadvertently cause shame and fear in each other.
As long as this unconscious fear-shame dynamic is active, talking about the issue is likely to make it worse.

When a couple gets angry with each other, they say anything but when you say things the way you like, they will come back as they like. I know that it is difficult to control yourself when you are angry. 


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