The trauma of being single-Female population twice that of the men


The trauma of being single-Female population twice that of the men

The trauma of being single-Female population twice that of the men

I’ve been here too many times: when your friends have all started getting married or having babies. Your calendar is littered with baby showers, and your Facebook cluttered with happy couples’ pictures, and everyone ooh’ing and aah’ing at them. At some point, you notice them getting into cliques and starting to cut you off – no more lunches and dinners with your girlfriends, and no more drinking with the boys. After all, you’re a ‘bad influence’ on your married friends, filling their minds with singlehood toxic tales of clubbing and drinking everyone under the table.


Soon enough, the judging begins especially when you hit another milestone, aka a birthday; woe unto you if you hit 30. Your parents’ nagging goes a notch higher. The aunts join in, and you stop bringing any of your male friends to the parties because they’re considered potential husbands. Your friends start hooking you up with their friends’ single friends, because they think they know what you want. And then everyone judges you further if you reject all their offerings of single men, not knowing that they don’t fit into your criteria. However many times you explain, they don’t understand why your just-ended relationship lasted only 2 weeks – because they don’t see why you should turn down an ‘eligible’ bachelor. They consider you stubborn and petty, and too picky. Yeah, that word picky – can’t a woman have standards and hold herself to them?

Eventually you lose your friends, even some close ones – after all, the single women are the ones who snatch their husbands. They can never trust you to be alone with their husbands – yet when you were both single, hanging out as a third wheel was never a problem. Others start diagnosing you with conditions you never had – difficult, immature, too independent, too strong a woman, too hard-headed. And therein lays the malaise that will forever be the curse by which men find you unsuitable wife material.

When you withdraw from their friendship circle by choice, as they always make you feel uncomfortable, then everyone decides that you have become a recluse, and you no longer want to be their friend. Yet all you’re doing is giving them the space they seemingly need, while ridding yourself of the malice and negativity that they bring into your life.

Being single might not be a choice for most women, but it is something that we have to face. Why won’t everyone just leave us alone, and let us enjoy the singlehood? After all, isn’t the female population twice as much as that of the men? Someone has to fill in that percentile, and it might as well be us!



The trauma of being single-Female population twice that of the men

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