Dose of Laughter:Funniest and Craziest ‘Majibu Ya Makanga’
The biggest population in Kenya uses Matatus on a daily basis, even for those who have their personal vehicles, sometimes the public means of transport is a faster and convenient option considering factors such as the hustle for a good and safe parking spot in the central business district(CBD).
Traveling in a matatu can be an easy ride but sometimes it is a complete nightmare. This can be because of the different types of people you have to take the ride with. The first culprits are the smelly people, who will kill you by the chocking smell from their armpits, or even worse the ones who decide to remove their shoes to air their feet and you just want to die so instead you cross your fingers and hope to arrive to your destination sooner before they decide to yawn because their mouth hygiene levels are wanting. The other people are the ill mannered ones, who sit in the entire sit, smashing you or leaving you hanging at the edge as if you will not be paying the full transport fare. There are other people with a particularly bad behavior of reading your texts with you or checking out on what you are browsing.
The overall winners on annoyance are the conductors or locally known as the ‘Makanga’ who have the power to ruin your day by the kind of reposes they have. If you have a bad experience with a tout you can relate. Here are of the craziest and rudest answers that have been shared by different people.
Conda:Beba beba madam unaenda?
Lady:Sneers,rolls eyes and mschewwws>
Conda: Unaringa na unafanana kiatu yangu na chini, Dere inua!
Conda:Beba beba tao twende!
Plump Chic:Ni ngapi?
Conda:Tao ni 70 msuper
Plump Chic: Ai siezi lipa hio!
Conda: Haya juu uko na tyre kwa tumbo, roll hadi tao, nkt!
Conda; town 60 60 60 …
All passengers ignore …
Conda; dere inua, hawa ni ka wanangoja Ngamia..
Woman: We hii kelele ni mingi sana!
Conda(pretending not to hear): Ati?
Woman: Nasema kelele ni mingi, punguza!
Conda: Oooh pole fungua dirisha itoke
Conda: Pesa yako
<passenger hands over a 1000 Ksh>
Conda: Hauna Pesa ingine
<Passenger hands over another 1000Ksh>
Conda: Dere simamisha gari turushe mtu inje
Conda:Haya pesa yako hapo nyuma..
Man:Ah nitakupatia.Utaipata tu hapo mbele.
Conda:Ala kwani hiyo pesa yako inapandia stage gani?
Conda:Hela mkononi hapo!
Dude:Gives cash, dozes off
Conda:Boss sasa leta ya lodging
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