DEAR JAKOM,
I greet you so much hoping that you are of good health. I know God removed the stress that led to your head surgery so I am sure you are okay. Please greet Obama, Lupita and Adongo for me but tell them we are still waiting for their donation, in case you didn’t know we owe KRA 118milion as Gor Mahia (dont ask me how they arrived at such a sum coz even Rachier doesn’t know).
Attached in your inbox is the Mpesa pay bill number 350100, pass it over to Lupita, Obama and Adongo.
Baba when you left we thought you were only going to open an office and come back but it has been over a month now, rumours are going around, some are saying that you are the only one still left looking for the Malaysian plane, if that is the case please leave it, you are used to looking for things and you don’t get them like the Presidency, but we love you all the same. Some people are saying that you have become a shoe shiner in Boston subway..nkt..
I just clicked at them. Some are saying that the office was so expensive you dont have fare to come back, if that is the case just tell us we will send you all the money we have collected for Gor Mahia….. KRA can wait.
Some are saying that Obama is grooming you to take over from him, if that is the case, tell him to make us Luopeans USA citizen ….us the people of the lake so that you can maintain your stronghold.
Since you went away our first lady took to Marathon, this made the president so lonely that he signed the marriage bill. Baba imagine you can now marry back their without telling Mama Ida, just surprise her at the airport ‘Hi mama Ida this is Sandra Michaels Tinga from Illinois she is your co-wife’
Baba alcohol is killing okuche, people are going blind please Baba come back we will do a referendum and make u the head of Nacada coz a certain someone is sleeping on the Job. Alsaabab are also playing cricket with our buses and matatus, please if you know where the men in black came from bring them back so that they can help us with security. Least but not last, are you standing again in 2017? Baba Gor Mahia onyamo Sofapaka adua Nyoro Goodbye hoping to hear from you soon.
