I Stole Ngilu’s Bag-William Kabogo

“Let me tell you a secret. You don’t know I stole Narc party leader Charity Ngilu’s handbag in Kasarani,” Kiambu Governor William Kabogo told a shocked crowd yesterday.

“But I am no thief,” he added hastily.

Speaking in Bishop Kariuki Community Hall, Kabete subcounty, Kabogo alleged he took the bag in 2012 because it contained a secret three-way memorandum of understanding signed by Ngilu’s Narc party, Uhuru Kenyatta’s TNA and William Ruto’s URP.

He said he was doing the country a favour by preventing another coalition government.

On December 23, 2012, the three parties signed an MoU and merged to become the Jubilee Alliance ahead of the March 4, 2013, general election.

“I realised that the agreement had clauses on power-sharing . . . I was saving the country from another power-sharing regime,” Kabogo said yesterday.

“Later, I repented my sins and asked God to forgive me.”

The governor was on a bursary cheque-distribution stopover – and apparent confession spree – before he proceeded to Kikuyu and Limuru subcounties.

At Muthure Market in Kikuyu, Kiambu deputy speaker Anthony Macharia jogged the crowd’s memory.

“Do you remember the signing of an MoU between Uhuru, Ruto and the person who walks on two paths like a hyena [a reference to then Deputy Prime Minister Musalia Mudavadi]? And the woman from Ukambani who is now in government? [Ngilu]” Macharia said.

Uhuru was also a Deputy Prime Minister alongside Mudavadi and had declared their presidential candidatures.

“Do you remember her bag went missing when the three leaders went for a cup of tea?”

Macharia said Kabogo is a champion of democratic leadership.

“Our governor vanished with it,” he said.

“I want you to know that you people elected a hero to lead us.”

Kabogo confessed he “spoiled everything” for Mudavadi in December 2012.

He did this by pulling off a stunt worthy of James Bond. He explained that, denied entry, he waited for five hours outside Mudavadi’s residence where a meeting about presidential candidate Uhuru stepping down for his fellow DPM was going on.

“I saw a construction lorry delivering materials at the home and I sneaked in and made sure Uhuru did not relinquish his bid for the presidency,” said Kabogo.

On Uhuru’s way to register as a voter in Gatundu South, he announced he would not step down for Mudavadi after all.

Uhuru blamed “dark forces” for arm-twisting him into signing a deal that would have seen him give up his presidential bid for Mudavadi.

Kabogo said he thwarted Ngilu and Mudavadi “in good faith”.

“If it should happen again, I would do it again – and again,” the governor said.

– the-star.co.ke

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