My friend told me his wife has refused to go back to Jamhuri with him
When they got married, they were the perfect couple. The same height, same neighborhood, pleasantly pleasant…I can say. He is one of the best guys I know. He loves the Lord, his family, and the guy is hard working. He always chose the right things. Even his wife had to be from his tribe. For him, It had to be a Kikuyu woman. He wanted it simple. Why any body would go outside of the tribal base and complicate things troubled him. I saw his point, Kikuyu women are known to be go getter s. In fact other tribes who want to succeed in Business go for a Kikuyu….. Its one of those Kenyan . . . myths?
If you drive from Nairobi to Eldoret, or to Kisumu, in fact when you drive anywhere including down town Nairobi, Gara, Marigiti, I mean, if you just drive, the majority of the business people you see on the road sides selling everything from used underpants to rocks are Kikuyu women. Not men! The men are mostly in a bar somewhere or “mugetho”. Nothing personal! Given this therefore, my friend chose a good, well groomed, kikuyu, secretary. She is very nice. . . seriously hospitable and consistent. She could have been my sister for all I know! Wonderful women. She is very kind. A true believer!
Therefore when he called me to complain that she has decided not to go back to Kenya with him, I was shocked! I was at their wedding and heard the preacher invoke the bible. The sermon talked about the genesis narrative . . . God made them one so one they should be . . . . till…..you get my drift! But marriage is complicated I presume. I guess that is why it comes with these complicated legalities. It was so complicated for Moses that he opted to give the Jewish men a right to leave their wives, a decision Christ vetoed. It has always been hard even before the fall. Adam proclaimed,”bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” when he saw beautiful Eve! Then one day he came home and she had just finished dinner with the devil and had sat down for a meal which included great conversation against God’s commands and a bite on the forbidden fruit. She knowingly gave him that deadly fruit of which Paul claims, he ate knowingly. Days latter when God came to visit, Adam was crying foul! “It is the woman you gave me”. From that day marriage became a safari in the middle of the Masai Mara . . . lions, hyenas, elephants,….survival of the fittest? In America only 50% survive the journey!
My grandfather married my grandmother Aphia in 1910 and lived together for over 65 years. . . 65years! He was a pastor and had to set a good example to the natives who were getting saved from polygamy, African traditional religion, and culture, to faith in Jesus of Nazareth. My father was also a pastor and married my mother Harriet in 1946 when she was just 16. Theirs’ lasted 60 years…..60!
I called her to find out what was what. “Teddy, I followed this guy since I was single. You know you were there”. She started. She said that when he graduated from college, she went with him to some place where he was a pastor. “They mistreated us there but I stuck with it. I supported him. When he came to the United States to study, he left me in Kenya with the kids for 2 years, Teddy, you know!” I know therefore I said nothing. “ I have told him we need to buy land in Kenya and build our own home. I have told him we need to plan how we are going to live when we retire. I have tried everything, Teddy.” She argued her case convincingly. “I am not going to live with his parents in Kwale! No running water, no toilets, no electricity. I am not going to get on a bicycle to get water, or go to the kiosk half a mile away. I am a grown woman with grown up children.” She said their coming to America must mean something. Even education is supposed to advance you. In fact she argued that as a pastor, he came to study to show people how to grow in the Lord: How to advance from faith to Faith. “We cannot remain where we were, and even worse, we cannot go back to the way we were or worse.” I listened. How could I argue with such logic? “Teddy, what would you do?” She asked. “I. . . am…I hear you…..”. I hanged up and called my friend. “Cheruonyo…..mundu……aaiiiiiiii…….you got a problem!” If it was you, what would you say? If you were her, what would you do? Tough!
ByTeddy Njoroge Kamau,PhD, SYR/Radio/TV, Director: International Desk.
My friend told me his wife has refused to go back to Jamhuri with him
