When a man loves a woman, the global culture and conventional wisdom expects him to make the first move by proposing a romantic relationship and even ask a woman’s hand in marriage.
But cultural norms are hostile to women. A woman may love a man. She may be “dying” for him. But culturally speaking, she can’t make the first move. If she did, she would be considered “loose.” Or risk being given a badge of twilight girl. In fact, some men may be turned off by a woman who dares to propose for a romantic relationship or a marriage.
Yet, modern tectonic plates of love have shifted. Relationships as we know them aren’t as traditional as they used to be. Traditional “matchmaking” when a relative or a friend would hook up potential lovers has been superseded by time and cyber space. Social networking sites have replaced traditional approach to finding love.
However, cultural norms for finding love still favor men on the detriment of women, albeit on a lesser degree. That’s why women of this generation should make a paradigm shift in matters love. Instead of “dying” secretly for a man of her dream, a woman should take a plunge and propose for a romantic relationship or even a marriage.
The worst answer a woman will get is a no. No doesn’t kill. It sets you free to move on and explore other opportunities. After all, when a man loves; he loves. He won’t turn down a lady’s request. It is better for a lady to take a risk by proposing her feelings than suspend her love life in silence. How about beginning with baby steps of complementing his looks, swagger, cologne and dress code?
In sum, ladies shouldn’t grow weary waiting for a man to come their way. Meet him a half or even full way. Remember, men and women have two distinct biological clocks. Women’s clock ticks faster. So, it is okay for a woman to initiate a relationship and even propose a marriage to a man of her dream.
By and large, a woman may have a career and education-although necessary, those two do not guarantee holistic fulfillment in life. Having a man, especially a man with whom a woman is compatible, is priceless. He completes a woman.
Sadly, most men are increasingly freezing on matters love-they need to be defrosted. Some men have commitment phobia. Others fear financial and family responsibilities. Some, still; fear to be put on the “leash” and lose their freedom. Their fear of the unknown is incredible. They require a jumpstart to reactivate.
My unsolicited advice to women out there is: Don’t keep on “dying” secretly for him. Don’t wait for him to initiate a relationship or propose for a marriage. Just go full throttle. Click and let him download. Believe me, once clicked; these men really know how to download themselves. He might just surprise you with a “yes, I do” answer.
By Jacktone Ambuka, a Kenyan residing at State College Pennsylvania USA. You can reach me at email jsambuka @yahoo.com, Twitter @JackAmbuka, By Jacktone Ambuka, a Kenyan residing at State College Pennsylvania USA. You can reach me at email jsambuka @yahoo.com, Twitter @JackAmbuka,
