Depending on who you ask, Donald Trump is either the funniest man alive, or an evil cross between Lord Voldemort and Darth Vader.
When he announced his intention to run for the Presidency of the United States, nobody much took him seriously.
But not only has he said such outrageous things he’s ridden roughshod over the entire Republican primary campaign … he’s actually winning in the polls.
There’s every chance the Donald could end up as the Republican nominee for President. Just let that sink in.
If you’re not familiar with the Donald’s ridiculous pronouncements, here’s some of the most ridiculous, hilarious and rage inducing things he’s said in recent years.
On muslims
The Donald has called for a “total and complete shutdown” of Muslim immigration to the US.
“Until we are able to determine and understand this problem and the dangerous threat it poses, our country cannot be the victims of horrendous attacks by people that believe only in Jihad, and have no sense of reason or respect for human life,”
On Immigration
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you.
“They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”
On the giant wall he wants to build
“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
On why money is not important to him
Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game!
But it’s important to other people
“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
I never fall for scams. I am the only person who immediately walked out of my ‘Ali G’ interview
On New York City
“When you get off a plane at [New York Airport] Laguardia, it’s like a third world country.”
On Hillary Clinton
“If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?”
On his hair, which is totally real
As everybody knows, but the haters & losers refuse to acknowledge, I do not wear a “wig.” My hair may not be perfect but it’s mine.
On Senator John McCain
“He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”
On his chances of winning the election
“We will have so much winning if I get elected you may get bored with winning. Believe me. We are going to start winning big league.”
On his superior brain
Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure,it’s not your fault
On the Chinese global warming conspiracy
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive
…and why he’s a great climate scientist
This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps,and our GW scientists are stuck in ice
….and an expert on wind turbines
It’s Friday. How many bald eagles did wind turbines kill today? They are an environmental & aesthetic disaster
so Alex Salmond should totally listen to him
.@AlexSalmond, Wind turbines are ripping your country apart and killing tourism.Electric bills in Scotland are skyrocketing-stop the madness
On vaccinations
No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses—one vaccine at a time, over time.
I am being proven right about massive vaccinations—the doctors lied. Save our children & their future.
On his daughter. That’s right. His daughter
“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
On the haters
Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it…
On his body parts
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”
On relationships
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.
@katyperry Katy, what the hell were you thinking when you married loser Russell Brand. There is a guy who has got nothing going, a waste!
On Obama’s nationality
“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”
On Obama’s re-election
This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!
The Donald offered him a pretty sweet deal if he quits
If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country—I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!
-sde.co.ke
