Marriage: If not straight from the Heart, it will not last!

Those who know about relationships, real relationships, wonder why God set up the system of marriage. The question for many is how God expected two very different human beings to live together as “one” in a state he established as a distinct existence. It is true that man and women are human beings, but it is also true that they are completely different beings within physical and psychological state. How then did He as the creator expect these characters to exist in harmony, when they not only are different, but come from two other peoples who are also different?

 

The Bible however does not present this issue under the human analysis. God does not define marriage within the human experience. He views it from the genesis narrative, “God made man in his own image . . .  male and female he created them”. His purpose was that man would experience existence as He God experiences it. And that humanity may bring forth other human beings who will experience existence just as God established it. Therefore the act of being married is the state within Divine Imperative where God set out to create man in His own Image for Christ, through Christ (Col. 1:15-20).

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The problem is that what God had created within Divine Imperative was destroyed by the entry of Satan. Satan’s objective was to disrupt the pure intentions of God so as to remove Christ from the created order, taking control. He succeeded in disrupting the peaceful state of God’s   plan. It is for this reason many marriages are in trouble. And there are thousands of seminars, books, magazines, articles, laws, that are meant to address the consequence of what we call the fall! It is an international consequence and Kenyans, even Kenyans who are in America, are not immune and have been and continue to be affected by the fall. I attended the 2nd Annual National Conference on the weekend of August 30th to September 2012 in Atlanta. It was held at Kenyan American Community Church in Atlanta, Georgia. Their theme was, “Building Solid Fences around your Marriage and a Perpetual Honeymoon”.

 

The idea of having the seminar though noble had certain roadblocks which I hoped would be addressed! Those who were speakers at the conference were Kenyan men clothed in American culture. And no matter how much they tried to uncover the mask of crisis in Kenyan Diaspora Marriages, they constantly failed to uncover their Kenyan cultural reality. You see, a Kenyan in America, no matter how western he becomes, is still a Kenyan and unless he becomes naked and identifies who he really is, the scripted biblical message, the crafted suggestions to the families, and the educated quotations from scholarly marriage manuals fail to address the real problems.

 

Those who attended the seminars were themselves Kenyan men and women who are part of the pseudo Americana that many Diaspora families dwell in. They are neither Kenyans nor Americans and there is nothing they can do about it! The car payments, the mortgage, the children (American), the family back home, illegality, return to Jamhuri, relationship with family back home still ringer behind the crafted message they hear from the list of Drs Present.

 

However, the act of fellowship provided by the sight of other Kenyans, the conversations about home, the joy of seeing the children playing with other children, and the Gwashe, Ugali, Mandazi, and the always special and present Kenyan Chai never disappoints.

 

As for the purpose of the seminar, the only challenge worth noting was the statement by 

Mrs. Lucy Kingori who during her husband marriage workshop noted, “If your wife or husband does not let you into their heart of hearts, nothing else will make your marriage work”.

 

For that statement alone, the 2nd annual National Conference organized by Marriage Dynamics National Forum was worth it. The problem was, not all heard that statement.

 

Teddy Njoroge Kamau, PhD, SYR/Radio/TV/ Director: International Desk. Diaspora Messenger Contributor

 

 

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