The Rise of Lonely Hearts: Unmarried Women in The Church and the Shaming of Men
The Rise of Lonely Hearts (Unmarried Women) in the Church & the shaming of men
The weighty matters in the church In the interest of preserving the most holy faith. What you are reading here is not something taught in a Theological school or read from a book of some great man/woman of God. It is written by a simple preacher, born again, full of the Holy Spirit and honestly concerned about the future of Christianity. Due to the sensitivity of the matter in question I have not consulted with flesh and blood, I have just written as I felt persuaded. I have not read it from any book nor heard it from any man; I believe it is a revelation. (Galatians 1:11-16). If you hate the revelation burn the article, if you love it share it with a friend. Whichever way you will be wise to read through to the most last sentence then decide. It is not for sale.
Though I am not a theologian I am persuaded that the understanding of scripture is not the preserve of the theologians otherwise it will be impossible for the unlearned to attain to Godliness and eternal life. I believe God is able to reveal this treasure of the knowledge of him by revelation and word of insight. Never the less all revelation (Rema) must be in agreement with written word (Logos) – the Bible. No revelation or word of knowledge and insight should contradict the already written word because God changes not. The fulcrum of all theology, revelation, word of knowledge e.t.c must be the Bible.
I am glad that the Bible allows that there should always be revelations when the children of God gather together – some giving out their revelation while others judge (1Cor: 14:26 & 29). Christianity is not an event rather it’s a long journey that takes a lifetime of the believer and hoping that we will die of old age if Jesus tarry then this can be real many years. Life therefore requires a sober approach. The worst thing to happen is to bury our heads in the sand like the proverbial Ostrich.
This revelation seeks to explain God’s way out of the undesirable situation of the ever increasing number of lonely hearts, the single ladies, in the church of Christ. It is a matter that we all must admit that affects us in one way or the other. Failure to address this issue has portrayed Christianity as a religion where marriage is too casual and extremely optional. This then is diluting the whole essence of the family as God intended it to be.
As a preacher I have prayed for many sisters to get this miracle, some have received others are still waiting. I know my sister you have done all you can, you have prayed, fasted, planted the best seed, supported the work of God the best way you know, you have gone for deliverance from the spirit of rejection, gone for seminars on how to find the man from whose rib you were made, been prayed for by most anointed preachers, name it all…. yet the situation has not changed and the years are still going on and on. Yet the Apostle Paul puts it so casually with a lot of simplicity; let them marry and raise children (1Tim:5:14). He also says so casually again that due to the increase of immorality let every man have his own wife and every woman her own husband (1Cor:7:2&9). For the man it’s very easy but for the woman it’s a whole mountain; an item for prayer and fasting, planting seed and etc. So what is wrong? It is so distressing. My sister you need not quite God for you will end up nowhere. Better get this revelation.
Fellow Pastor you are getting concerned about this very faithful sister; she started with you as a Sunday school child, you looked forward to her wonderful wedding but now she is in her 30’s and still waiting. You need this revelation.
My sister, from when your husband went to be with Lord those sisters who were your great family friends have deserted you and now look at you suspiciously. You need this revelation and ensure your Pastor gets a copy.
What is a revelation?
In my understanding, a revelation is a supernatural/God directed insight into scripture which brings to public understanding a thing (or wisdom) in scripture hitherto unknown. A revelation brings to light a package of knowledge/information that has been in existence somewhere in scriptures but not opened to general understanding by the Church. It is meant to enable the body of believers to move to the next level. A revelation does not bring a new thing altogether but just brings to light that which as existed in the mind of God as written in the bible but somehow it has not been understood may be those who got the revelation feared to speak it, or maybe it waited for its right time. All revelation must be in agreement with the written word otherwise it will lead to heresy. A revelation brings out a new perspective to the things of God with the sole aim in God being to get the body of believers out of a quagmire. It gives direction of God’s way in solving difficult issues in the Church.
In the natural a revelation can be compared to a discovery of a precious treasure like Gold, Oil, Coal etc. The Coal in Mui Basin in Kitui and the Oil in Turkana is not a new thing! It has always been there but hidden from public knowledge. Just as the discovery gives a new hope to a people and the nation so does a revelation to the believers and the Church. It gives hope in a desperate situation and renewed strength to move an extra mile.
The abandoned sheep
I want to address myself to some three groups of people we have in the church about whom we have just kept quiet and wished away their predicament. For these sheep nobody seems to keenly care whether they have eaten or have been injured by wolves, have they stolen or have thieves stolen from them. At least they produce some milk and some of them much milk (in form of tithes and offerings) for which the shepherd is very happy but beyond that everybody just wonders, wishes, imagines, fears……and day in day out they are still increasing. Unfortunately nothing much about them is changing and continual silence over them is simply living in denial, being hypocritical and evading responsibility as the church. These are the Senior Spinsters (some aging as virgins), the young Widows and those divorced on grounds acceptable in scripture.
As I say what I am saying, I am a wear that though we are seen to be living together yet we exist in two different worlds; a world for the God fearing and another for the don’t cares. Now my message is critical to the God fearing those whose hearts tremble at the voice of the Lord (Malachi 3:16). To the others who are less bothered about the word of God I will seem a fanatic, too much concerned about things beyond my control and delving into people’s privacy and exiting emotions about non-issues. To them life is going on normally everybody doing things the way they deem fit. So why should you be bothered? To these I will say, I am a preacher called of God, the interest of God is my bother and that is why I am a preacher; to sound the alarm to the world to bring it into perspective of God’s voice and purpose at every moment until Jesus comes back. But I am talking on a matter that touches on all of us in the immediate family, our relatives and friends. Everybody is involved so you better get interested and read through this message. It’s very relevant.
The young widows in the church
Who is ready to speak for the young widows? Mind you these are the ones at the age limit of 60 years and below– I Tim: 5:9. There are answers in the Bible on how to deal with them but we have refused to accept instructions as written and some bible translators have changed the whole meaning of scripture to suit their narrow thinking. Compare I Tim: 5:16 in King James Version (KJV) bible to the same verse in New International Version (NIV) Bible and see what I am talking of. It says in KJV if any man or woman that believes has widows let them relieve them but the NIV version mentions only woman thus deliberately avoids man; why should one think that the widows only need packets of maize meal (unga) and beans given by fellow women. God in heaven knows that these believing widows need that kind of relieve offered by a man.
I wonder why we want all widows to be like Anna (Luke 2:36-37) who was widowed at an age definitely below 30 years and lived without a man upto the age of 84 years to see the Lord? We also need to see Ruth, also widowed at a very early age (Ruth 1:4-5). She went to Boaz, the close relative and demanded her right (haki yangu) and this God fearing man told her just to hold on for tomorrow the sun will not go down before this matter is settled (Ruth 3: 9-13). I salute this man, you know what; he never touched her that night but he had the integrity to wait for the verdict of the Elders just in case they rule otherwise. Why? So that he does not end up being guilty of getting into somebody’s wife (Adultery). Thank God the matter was solved and Ruth became one of the wives of Boaz and she becomes a great great great grand mother of Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament the plan of ensuring that widows continue with normal life is well elaborate. So who changed it, when and why – seeing that Jesus never addressed the issue directly?
When I first believed 26 Years ago, I never thought a true believer born again Holy Ghost filled can die young leaving a young born again Holy Ghost filled sister. It’s so sad that I have seen it happen to my real close friends.
You say these widows should marry, that’s right but look at it practically. For reasons unclear to us we have more widows than widowers. The widowers always have a wide choice to marry from because there are many spinsters. And usually they marry the spinsters. Then who is this young man you expect to marry a widow with 3 children and had been done with child bearing and by faith procured a tubal litigation? I can imagine what you, who is imagining that I have a demon, will say if your son says that he has a miracle of a 40 year old sister with three children. This sister honestly did not kill her husband.
The widowers marry always almost immediately as long as they are willing to marry. Is God then unjust? Doesn’t the Bible say that such a windowed sister should marry and only in the Lord? (Timothy 5:9-14 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). But which brother will marry them. Due to this disorder and unfairness some of them are being relieved by heathens and have turned aside after Satan (I Timothy 5:14-15). This guilt and fear among Christians is not bible based rather it’s based on our perception and feelings based on what we have learned over the years.
The acceptably divorced
The case of the divorced is a bit complex but I am persuaded that I have something to say. Please judge. I realize that it’s like God has put a lot of burden for keeping the marriage on the woman. Please carefully read Matt: 5: 31-32 and 1 Cor. 7:10-11. A man may divorce his wife if she is sexually unfaithful and the woman divorced for her being sexually unfaithful should not be married otherwise the man marrying her will be committing Adultery. Note that Jesus gives no other reason for a man to divorce his wife in fact He says if you divorce her for any other reason you will be guilty of making her commit adultery. Notice also that Jesus does not implicate this condition to the man i.e. He does not say that a woman can divorce her husband for being sexually unfaithful. Then Paul says ‘it’s not I but the command of the Lord … a woman should not depart from her husband and if she departs let her remain unmarried and if she realizes she still needs a man then she should go back to her husband’ – not even waiting for him to come for her. Just go back and apologize. I know you don’t want it that way but I can only say what the Bible says unless you look for your own Bible and concoct your teaching. Please men note also that Paul building on the words of the Lord says that none should divorce his wife (1Cor.7:11).
Well, there is however one acceptable reason for the wife to be loosed from her husband when both are alive. I am yet to find any other reason. Paul says ‘if the unbeliever departs let him depart, the brother or sister is free’ but notice also that this window is not opened without a rider, he says ‘but we are called to peace’ (1 Cor. 7:15). Verse 16 emphasizes that the believer should rather seek to save the unbeliever partner. Understand this that this unbeliever could also be the former believer who has turned away from the Lord and fallen in love with the world e.g. Demus and Alexander in 2Timothy 4:15. These two fellows could also have been husbands to some dear sisters. Also see Matt: 24: 45-51 with emphasis on verses 48 and 49. Note that Jesus is talking of a servant of His (born again Holy Ghost filled) who has changed and started beating up the servants. It’s possible that this servant had a wonderful wedding in church officiated by the Bishop. Definitely he has been serving God wonderfully for some time but he has just changed his mind and is now beating up the others, his wife being the first culprit. By beating her up this unbeliever is telling the sister go I don’t want you. So she is free of him. Too bad, but it happens. I will call such a sister the one acceptably divorced.
Now those acceptably divorced and the widows are free to marry but only in the Lord (1Cor: 7:39). Then the big question comes, are they to be married by the youth, your son or my son, mmmm….mmmm…weee, how old is she? May be in her 30’s or 40’s. How many children? mmm …say three. My young son of 25 years to marry her! I can see the butterflies in your stomach. The obvious fervent prayer in that home will be ‘please God open the eyes of my son/brother not to make that mistake’.
I take special notice of the ease with which Paul commands that these sisters be married – 1Timothy 5:14. He should have told the church to pray hard, with prayer and fasting for whatever days it takes in the best prayer centers where God moves easily without interruption, for such sisters to urgently get good brothers to marry them. You know they were becoming a menace, wandering from house to house gossiping, busybodies and speaking things that they ought not to speak. (1Tim:5:13). I wonder what those things are which they should not speak! Of course the gossip is known, it’s about the Pastor’s wife, that sister who has a wedding soon, the praise and worship team leader who is so close to the Pastor, the chair lady and bla bla bla.
I see it in the mind of Paul and the church of that day that for a lady to get married it was not a big deal to necessitate prayer and fasting. It’s like it was just a matter of decision and you get married. After all, brothers wanting to accommodate them were available and their wives will not riot. By the way married sisters and be honest with yourself here, what happens when the husband of one’s best friend dies? Does the friendship continue? If you find her taking coffee with your husband how would you feel? The right thing will be that you occasionally sent your husband in the evening to see that sister friend of yours and tell him to come tomorrow. Honestly there are many times when you need a rest, why not sent him to that your widowed/divorced friend? Then you will proudly say I love that sister. But unfortunately most friendships, if not all, of sisters dwindle when the husband of one dies. She instantly becomes a dangerous woman. As though it was her fault that her husband died.
Please take note of what the Holy Scriptures describe as pure and undefiled religion before our Father; to visit orphans and widows in their troubles (notice that the troubles are unspecified for they are diverse) – James 1:27.
Some women divorced for irrelevant reasons and should go back e.g. some will say the man is not providing for the family. Then I will ask them what are you doing yourself, can’t you provide? Read Prov. 31and Isaiah 3:25-26 upto Isaiah4:1 and get out of your foolishness. If he can’t feed you then feed him and cloth him and thank God for giving you a husband the father of your children. We will only be helped if we look at the bible the way it’s written. This other one is saying ‘I found out that he had a concubine’. In the first place that is not scriptural (I.e. scripture based) reason for a wife to leave her husband (this fact is explained in pages ahead-read on). Then the worst thing is that you said you can’t share a husband and today you are in an affair with a married man, are you not sharing a man? So what have you done? Go back and repent. Some of you; that man still loves you and buys things for the children only that he has another woman and won’t mind you going back. Please go back. You are not likely to get a man different from the one you are refusing. Go back. God hates divorce and those people that think marriage is a jock are misled.
The aging virgins/senior spinsters
Now this is very distressing. I never imagined that a dear sister ready and willing to be married can miss a brother to marry her. Now how many are they truly born again saved from their child hood now in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s some still virgins waiting upon God for a believing brother. Their place in the Church is missing, being neither mothers nor widows nor youth. At least the ones who had gotten a child ‘somehow’ can fit in the single mother’s fellowship. What about those aging virgins? I tell you these people are hurting inside. I know of one old friend whose mind is become loose; when you meet her she only tells you brothers have refused her. Another is over agitated with everybody and very difficult to cope with bosses and colleagues until the colleagues sadly noted that she is unmarried, aging and has no child. Now they sympathize with her and avoid any confrontation lest she erupts on you. Who sinned so that this can happen? (John 9:2). I hear Jesus answering ‘it is you believers who decided so for your own reasons not mine. When I was with you several women were sharing one husband and were comfortable? I had no problem with it? Who changed it?’
Believers, you better understand that if you are ok with your situation then God is not bothered. And that’s how Lazarus went to heaven a beggar and was welcomed by Abraham the great rich man. Lazarus desired to eat the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table. That being his only desire, God granted it and so Lazarus never lacked the crumbs and he died and went to heaven (Luke 16:19-22). And you know also of the righteous man Lot who was continually vexed in his righteous soul as he witnessed what they did in Sodom (2 Pet. 2:7-8); he died in the caves for fear of people and went to heaven (Gen.19:30). If your problem/condition does not scare you neither is God moved.
The Church is challenged
When I got saved 26 years ago I never thought what I am seeing today could happen among the born again. It is actually why I hated the religion of my parents and moved with fire to the group of a people with a zeal for God who cannot compromise with sin. But what do I see now… brother you know God is merciful……hoops…… maybe I was young!
Friends, there are critical issues at stake now. Our Bishops/Pastors, Deacons, leaders, name them, are involved in ugly sex scandals with married women, divorcees, widows and girls. Usually it’s by consensus, the complainant being a third party. Where girls are involved the situation is even worse, these holy men have either secured abortions or are secretly paying for upkeep of the illegitimate children and the mother.
A preacher who is said to be involved in all these things once asked; what if your wife is not satisfying you? Well, I don’t know what your answer to that will be. But I also know of a married preacher with health problems owing to poor sex at home. Health problems due to inadequate sex? Yes. It is these complicated situations that made me start wondering, what is the logic in God for having in one household barns breaking down with rotting food while in the immediate neighborhood they are starving to death? Why should some people be getting worn out of eating and having to fight constantly over uneaten food while their neighbor is dying of starvation? This led me to wonder, why those with excess can’t share with those without. Why should both die; the one is dying of constipation while the neighbor dies of hunger.
Honestly I don’t see God taking the sins of Adultery (going into your neighbour’s wife), fornication (irresponsible sexual behavior) and murder (Abortion) lightly as we are trying to imagine. Let’s shed off hypocrisy and face the real issues.
What did Jesus say about Polygamy?
Let’s go to the Holy Scriptures and see; is it a sin to take in a virgin, a sister divorced on grounds acceptable in scripture or a widow for a second or third wife?
It is very clear in the Bible that Jesus Christ came into this world to a polygamous people – the children Israel i.e. Jacob a polygamous man of four wives namely Rachel, her sister Leah and their two house helps all who participated in bringing forth the twelve sons (Gen.29 verse 15 upto Gen.30 verse 24). It is certain that Jesus did not condemn polygamy at any one time in all His preaching; mind you His first congregation was most likely 90% polygamous. I realized that when Jesus allowed divorce (in Matt: 19) on grounds of marital unfaithfulness, he specifically referred to “a man divorcing his wife for marital unfaithfulness” not a woman divorcing her husband on the same grounds! Unless you want to change scriptures, in this part of the Bible ‘man’ is used in reference to the male gender while ‘woman’ refers to the female gender. Why did Jesus say it that way; simple a man could have more than one wife but a woman was to have only one husband. I know Jesus talked in singular (He did not say ‘wives’) in this part of scripture but that cannot make us conclude that he was not noticing that those men had many wives. Unless you want to suggest that he feared them.
Please do not bring in equality here for in matters of the faith that doesn’t arise: man is the image of the glory of God while woman is the glory of man (I Corinthians: 11:7-10). Yes we are all made in the likeness of God for it says in Genesis “so God created man in his own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them (Genesis 1:26-28). Yet it also says the head of man is Christ and the head the Woman is Man (I Corinthians 11:3). So we are equal or rather similar yet not absolutely.
Then I started to wonder “who then said that to be a Christian one must have only one wife”. I am careful not to add or subtract from scriptures due the express warning given in the Holy Scriptures (Rev. 22:18-19). According to the Apostle Paul writing to Timothy (I Timothy chapter 3), its only Bishops and Deacons who must be a husband of one wife however the reasons are not stated. I have my bet just as you could have yours but that can’t be taken for doctrine because, as my theologian friend tells me, in school they were told that “where the bible is silent you be silent”. Paul talks only of Bishops/Pastors/Overseers and Deacons; then who made it mandatory for all Christians.
My persuasion as per the Holy Scriptures is that a believer should only be careful to avoid the mistake of Solomon who took on women of strange god’s and they made him worship idols (1Kings 11:1-6). If you want another wife, gauge your ability (Ruth 4:3-6) and take a believing sister. Ok! The other thing is that if you choose to marry another wife then you must also remember the wife of your youth and rejoice with her (Prov. 5:18-19). God said this because it’s very easy to forget the elder wife after getting a young one. You are asking where I am getting that from! It’s obvious because this proverb is written in the Old Testament set up where men have many wives. So whenever you quote this verse, always remember it is being addressed to polygamous men. Yes it applies very much the same to David and Solomon of old as it should apply to any brother today. Read the Bible well.
Sisters in the Lord, you will need to be realistic in this matter and love one another. To the married women who by now feel that I belong to the gallows long crucified, I want to remind you that you are not past being widowed, for only God knows the number of days He has set for your husband. Do you ever put yourself in the shows of a widow? It’s not that they were such bad sinners that God took away their loved one. God does what He wants and He remains God. Do you have a daughter(s) growing up? Then you better stop thinking that I have a legion of devils. Be sober.
Who cares about the evident desperation of our sisters?
My friends the Pentecostals, it’s evident that we have the truth of the word of God and the world looks up to us for an explanation to these things. Did you see the desperation of our sisters as they flocked to Nyayo Stadium for prayers from our brother from Nigeria? May be you just dismissed them as a bunch of frustrated women? Well I tell you, they also are children of Abraham. We are carrying on our shoulders the extreme impact of this problem. In the mainstream churches (those we like calling denominations) the unmarried women have children to the number they want courtesy of the men among them, single and married alike, who have ‘helped’ them and continue to help them secretly though openly (usually it’s an open secret). But our mature girls in Pentecostalism who have not gotten themselves a man are in a mess always being asked by their parents ‘what is happening my daughter/grant daughter, you are not getting married?’ The challenge is that their peers in those other churches have a solace in this ‘she is not married but has two children she will take care of them’. I pity those of our girls who have had to undergo an abortion(s) to cover up the pregnancy of the Bishop, Pastor or Deacon, they are frustrated beyond measure. In the denominations they mostly just give birth and life continues; that is better than abortion.
What is Jesus in Heaven saying about this? It is a problem yes: but is it created by God or by men? Definitely it’s a man made problem. This is a very bitter reality. Let me tell you Church; if we don’t address this issue, several things will happen:-
1. The preaching of the Gospel will become irrelevant. Already the preaching of holiness is hard challenged.
2. We will be a religion of hypocrisy whose adherents live a lie in the open
3. Our preaching will be relevant only to the youth upto 19 years. And now I understand why they (Parents and leaders) like telling us ‘Pastors preach to the youth very much; they are getting spoiled’. When these youth stop being called youth then it’s over. I am sorry I was not preaching to make good youth. I am preaching for people to go to heaven. The word should apply the same way to all mortals.
4. It will be sensible for a non-Pentecostal parent to deny their daughter from joining Pentecostalism for it is a dangerous society where you may miss out on everything like so and so’s daughter- no husband and no child and is not a Catholic Nun. You see the Catholic Nuns have decided in advance and their parents have agreed to that so everybody is ok.
5. I wonder whether the divorced for acceptable reasons and young widows without the grace of Anna are to continue being comfortable with us.
6. I know that some of you (especially the senior virgins), though affected, yet the many years of hearing what you have come to believe about marriage makes you wonder who I am speaking for. But there are only two things; either our preaching has made you numb or you have the grace to stay unmarried. If you have the grace to stay alone that also is acceptable. It’s not a must that you marry, you can stay alone serve God freely and go heaven (Matt: 19:12 and 1Cor:7:25-35). But this should be a free will choice publicly known by those concerned but not a situation into which you forced by circumstances. The truth is that the younger generation listening to our preaching are scared that getting saved may put them in a situation like yours. The audience of our preaching is genuinely not comfortable with the outcome of our hard stand preaching without tangible solutions to real life challenges. Unless we say that salvation is synonymous to blindness. But the Bible says be sober 1Peter 1:13 (among many other scriptures)
Better have it in mind that Jesus may not come as soon as you are imagining. If anything tow thousand and eleven years are over since Jesus left this earth and the scripture still reads ‘our salvation is nearer than when we first believed …the night is far spent and the day is at hand’ (Romans 13:11-12). These are the words of the Apostle Paul after preaching for say 20 years or even give him very many if you want and say 50 years of preaching in the 1st Century. We are still waiting. Do you realize that Paul honestly thought that Jesus will return when he is still alive? (1Theso.4:16-17 and 1cor.15:51-52).
I thank God for the Apostle Peter, at that same time he got a revelation that it may take thousands of years before Jesus comes back. So he said ‘….in the last days scoffers will come…..saying “where is the promise of His coming? For since the Fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation” (2Peter 3:3-4&8). Note that here the Fathers refers to the Apostles (1John 2:14). In as much as I am waiting for Jesus to come today, I am also aware that I may die of old age still waiting for Him. Be ready for either way. Life is real not a rehearsal.
A challenge to the married women
Let me tell you woman who is thinking that I am crazy, should God choose to understand that servant of His; I mean that your husband preacher whom you have broadcasted everywhere as immoral, then you will have a case to answer. Why did you make him suffer all the shame and his ministry failed? Why did you go round making noise about your husband and you were aware that you had not satisfied him? What is the deference; your husband going in hiding with women you don’t know or constraining himself to two or more women known to each other and taking care of one another as they all drink from the same well. Look at it and see that the rate of HIV AIDS is lower in the Muslim nations than in the so called Christian nations.
In fact now I know why those wise women of old used to help get a young girl for their husband “to help with the work” and this work was never specified. We are very quick to point fingers at the male preacher without asking; where is his wife in all this? Some men you are condemning; may be God will excuse them! To most men, born again or not born again, this is the most difficult, dangerous and regrettable bad decision that they have had to make out of necessity. Only God knows the verdict in some cases.
My sisters, the more you refuse being helped with this ‘work’ that you know you are not performing well, the more you are causing problems because finally he will go out where you don’t know and can’t know and even if you trace what will you do? He will repent and you will forgive him! Note that no matter how strong the cow shed fence you make, if the cows inside are not well fed they will still break the fence. You better not set spears outside because you will kill the animal and yourself by extension. If you have no enough feed for your animal; be honest and get a neighbor’s assistance. There are some with hay they don’t know where to take.
I am not going to talk about the husbands who can no longer perform their duty for I have no example in scripture of this unfortunate real life situation. May God help you here. One sister was asking her Pastor’s advice on what to do when she realized that the husband (a Meru friend of Miraa) is wisely bringing in his brother-in-law for assistance after admitting to himself quietly that he cannot perform more than once in three months and that only able to do it the cock style. Please I have no advice. My Pastor friend also had no idea; they both laughed and left the matter unresolved. The sister did not want to sin. I am very sure this Pastor did not step in to do the job himself as many others will do.
I also don’t find it necessary to talk about the single men for I think they have their reasons: some being unable to choose from the various sisters eying them, others are fearful, others have unrealistic expectations etc. In any case a man honestly unable to approach sisters can always request assistance from a trusted friend or honest Pastor. I know of a brother in the Lord, a primary school teacher, who admitted to fellow brothers that he feared sisters. So these caring brothers got a dear sister ready for marriage and did all the talking on behalf of their brother and they helped arrange the wedding and today the couple is doing well like all other couples.
Men under siege
What is the future of the children born out of wedlock by holy men? Well thank God for the new constitution of Kenya, at least they can smile there is a place for them, they are not fatherless. And I support that because if those born by drunkards are being supported then why not those born of preachers. It’s only a matter of time and you will hear it. Hi! My friend Bishop/Pastor; soon your children outside are coming for their right; upende usipende!! (Whether you like it or not!!). And those cases are not few.
Men hear me well; as you go scattering your seeds everywhere have this in mind that all the seeds that germinate outside there are your responsibility. You will take care of the resulting plant as per the new constitution. And this is where men are in great trouble which the chairman of Maendeleo ya wanaume should address urgently.
What will happen after the man has helped bring up the child (i.e. at the Liability stage) when the child is grown up and become an asset; does it mean the woman will consume the asset along? I have been thinking that this organization is useless until I came to think seriously about this matter; as we grow old we expect our children to help us get old graciously. What of this man who has been taking care of a child with whom there is no definite relationship? Let me tell my friend who is living like an estranged buffalo and only taking care of children out there, you better know that your only hope is that you don’t live to see many days. Retirement will definitely be your knock out. And to all of us men and women; hear what my late father used to say “I like it when the fool is in the neighbour’s place so that I can laugh”. Well fools will never cease in the land. This can happen to be your son, so take care and be willing to think.
Women are abusing very noble men because the men are guilty though the guilt is based on ignorance. Guilt makes somebody very vulnerable and defenseless. Whenever you hear a man is being abused, in whichever way by his wife, know that definitely he is guilty of something. May be he has not provided for the family or he has been caught outside with another woman, period. The outcome is the men folk is a despised lot while the single mothers are heroes and the married women are stressed.
The men who deserve harassment are the lazy, drug/alcohol addicts and wife beaters. Those of us who are responsible should rescue our single ladies from this agony by marrying several of them as per each mans ability and manage them in the wisdom of God. This is godly and will instill some sense in these young men when they find that the girls have been married. Then they will wake up from their laziness and drinking madness. And I am speaking the Bible, read Isaiah 3: 25-26 & 4:1. Here a problem has arisen because young men have died in battle so the women are more just like today where our young men have fallen in the battle of drugs and alcohol. So seven women will go for one man and tell him ‘we know you can’t feed and clothe all of us but at least you have something you can give all of us. So we will feed ourselves and cloth ourselves only perform your God given miracle and let has have babies with a known father’ (Isaiah 4:1). I see the preachers of that day telling these women to be like Sarah their mother. She never minded Abraham’s concubines rather she called him Lord (1Peter 3:6). She knew they can’t finish her Abraham.
Most of these our unmarried sisters are Isaiah 4:1 compliant and don’t need material support from a brother, all that they need is the seed and the father’s name for their child. Read Genesis 38:9 and see how the Lord dwelt with one wicked man who refused to give seed to a widow. The widow just wanted the seed nothing more but Onan enjoyed her and emitted the seed to the ground. The Lord (and this refers to Jesus) killed him. The Lord has not changed, He is the same yesterday today and forever Amen (Heb: 13:8). It is so bad to set our own unscriptural rules that deny a dear sister or young widow the joy of having a child. We are not serious. This I say to the Pentecostals.
One day as I preached in a crusade I felt a sense of desperation among our girls as I saw the young men supposed to marry them lying on the road side having drug themselves silly. Then I said we have a big challenge, for the Boy child is endangered then this complicates matters for the girl child at the time of marriage.
The challenge of the capitalistic modality of our women
The greatest challenge to my Revelation is the capitalist mentality of the Westerners with which they have polluted the Bible; making it look like it’s the doctrine of God. Women are the greatest perpetrators of this madness. These believing women, each wants the husband to belong only to her. Likewise even if a believing man wants to relief a believing divorcee/widow she wants him to forget his wife and children and devote all his efforts to her and her children. The same way when you marry a girl she wants that you forget the first wife and her children and never see them again. This is satanic disorientation of God’s will for his people. Capitalism is not Godliness. Abraham only gave gifts to the sons he had with his concubines and all the inheritance belonged to Isaac-Gen.25:5-6.Ismael also got his blessings. In case of Jacob all the 12 sons of the four wives all got their inheritance. This is where the new Constitution of Kenya comes in handy; it’s a bit elaborate on this matter.
So father Abraham had concubines, yes of course! And he is in heaven, yes! Hi! You mean a righteous man with concubines! That sounds strange. That’s to you and not God. Jesus refers to Abraham very often in his sermons e.g. John 8:39 and Paul refers to the some Abraham elaborately in Romans 4. I wish somebody can show me from the Holy Scriptures when God changed His perception of holiness.
The problem of Hagar started when she behaved the way the second wives of today behave, she abused Sarah and that was the end of it (Gen. 16:4-6). God approved the separation. She had to go even if Abraham thought that he can manage the situation as a man. Sister, I am saying should you get married to a man with another wife, respect the first wife and your life will be ok. You are asking me whether that is practical. I say this will be a more realistic gospel to preach than to preach to a congregation where the field is not level and you expect the same standards of holiness. The statement ‘be holy for I am holy’ as written in 1Peter 1:16 does not begin in the New Testament it is derived from the Old Testament (Leviticus 11:44) where the men being addressed by God are the likes of Abraham, Gideon (Judges 8:30-31), David, Solomon etc and these were holy men. Somebody tell me about Moses – he seems to have two fathers-in-law see Exodus 2:18-21 & 18:2 here we see Reuel also called Jethro but in Judges 4:11 we have Hobab. It’s like Moses had two wives.
Homosexuality Vs capitalism and monogamy
I feel that the spirit of capitalism is the backbone of the spirit of homosexuality and lesbianism- a practice of self seekers minding only themselves and no regard for the generation after them. For how will they raise a generation? Unfortunately this un-natural behavior is only tolerated in Christianity. This gives our religion a real bad image in the Eastern bloc: where Christianity is a minority religion perceived as funny and dangerous – a religion that allows men to marry men! Who will want to join such a religion? You know Christianity in the eastern bloc is as scarce as Hinduism in Kenya; they mostly hear of it when it hits the headlines internationally for all the wrong reasons like the ordination of gay Bishops. Could monogamy be a contributor to same sex relationships, especially lesbianism? Well think about it. I know homosexuality is as old as to the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.
To me the greatest challenge to Christianity today is not same sex marriages. Those are dangers from without; the greatest challenge in life is always the dangers from within. The church of Christ worldwide is faced with a great danger from within namely the unmarried senior virgins, young windows and the acceptably divorced. As long as we have them and have no clear policy on dealing with them then the preaching of holiness is challenged. God hates hypocrisy, I too hate it.
Of cause in the last days, as man wants to run away from God, God will give them over to differs lusts with their men lusting for other men and their women forsaking their natural use for the unnatural (Romans 1:21-32). Knowing all this we need to guard our future generation. Church, it’s important to ask ourselves why this part of scripture is being more easily fulfilled in the Western bloc and their former colonies than among the Eastern bloc. Thinking is important for in the grave where we are going there is neither thinking nor planning (Ecclesiastics 9:10).
Let’s work to guard the most holy faith
Friends and brethren it’s the high time we took our religion seriously. Christianity is not a white man’s religion; it is God’s way to reach mankind. The West has largely forsaken Bible based Christianity and the real gist of the faith now remains in Africa and Kenya is key in this matter. I am happy to be a believer based in Kenyan, the land beyond the rivers of Ethiopia (Cush) from where ‘the dispersed ones will bring my offering’ (Zephaniah 3:10). By my ‘My offering’ it means an offering acceptable to Him; that is true worship from the inward parts.
The thinking of the West in terms of modernization and capitalism is slowly and systematically killing Christianity by making it a very loose and unrealistic religion with no moral limits; you can always do whatever you want be a Christian. In many circles the voice of the Christian is not listened to; but let the Muslim speak they agree without a second thought. See it in our parliamentary debates and in most sensitive government appointments, the voice of the Muslim is seriously heeded. At the current rate I am not certain, if Christ tarry, how a fourth generation from now will find the faith called Christianity looking like. Islam is moving very fast especially through biological growth. Their women are not likely to reach menopause before being married and bearing Children. We don’t have many single mothers among Muslims as among Christians. These single mothers are our daughters and sisters. Likewise they are not few who are single and childless, not by choice but because there is none to marry them and are getting to menopause still believing. Wake up men and women of God and be honest and face issues. From the look of things, 20 years from now Muslims will likely be the largest tribe in Kenya. After all they have come from nowhere in 10 years to position number 6 if not 5 in the last census of 2009. That has its benefits in our society.
Well most of the single ladies, especially in the mainstream churches, have their way round the problem and are comfortable! Some of those in the Pentecostal churches where this ‘way round the problem’ is condemned have discovered how to play safe; they pay their tithe faithfully, support all church programmes and keep their lives to themselves. Their private life is secret and confidential to themselves. Happy are those with children, gotten somehow but what about those who aborted so as to remain girls, those girls who have been using family planning methods and most unfortunate the aging virgins. As a Pastor I feel obliged to apologize to our aging virgins; they have been very obedient to our preaching, we guaranteed them great weddings if they keep themselves pure but they have waited, waited, waited, waited…..
Well, some things must be really moving the heart of God, but what can He do, it’s our choice! For what you bind here on earth is bound in heaven and what you loose here on earth is loosed in heaven (Matt: 16:19) Thus the word is true ‘my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge’ (Hosea 4:6). You know to some extent we are behaving like the sect called Kanitha wa Ngai (Church of God) (see the daily Nation of 2/10/2012) who can’t take medicine and would rather die or go to jail rather than take their children for immunization.
Religious preaching is powerful it holds the human soul to the point of death. But please don’t die for nothing it adds no glory to your crown when you get to heaven.
It is very convenient to the married woman to keep that man only to yourself (hoping that there are no constant ugly quarrels of sexual dissatisfaction from him), but remember those aging virgins, widows and those divorced on grounds allowed in scripture, they also are children of Abraham.
For a pure realistic religion let’s stop throwing away the Old Testament rather combine it to the New Testament. When we properly combine the Old and New Testaments we come up with a sober realistic faith anchored on what God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son desired it to be. Monogamy is an idea of the West not of God. And it has not helped them has evidenced in the high rate of divorce, contract marriages and same sex marriages which are all anti-God. Surely what is there in the West to copy for marriage? Jesus Christ found polygamy in practice as he started His ministry; He never contemned it and you know he feared no man. By the way the pillars and heroes of our faith- Abraham, Jacob, Gideon, David etc were all polygamous. While Elijah, John the Baptist and Paul are some of the great pillars of our faith who never raised up families. So the choice is open either way you are ok. The Lord Jesus never made it an issue. Why are we starting to imply scriptures and coin meanings to suit our own wish and that to our own detriment and the children after us? Thereby putting the most holy faith to disrepute.
I know this is how we argue, in the beginning God made one man and one woman not one man and two women. But I will ask you, what was the commission given to Adam and Eve? Was it not to go and multiply and fill the earth (i.e. make babies)? Now honestly to make a baby a man doesn’t need two women. So why should you imagine that God should have made two women for Adam? That’s too ridiculous a thinking. I have also been thinking that way until I got this revelation. God does not waste time and resources.
Now Adam and Eve embarked on their commission as assigned but you realize that the babies were not coming out proportionally i.e. some families have more boys others more girls others boys only others only one child. Other complex things like death came in. And you see the husband must not die with the wife, when it happens it is a catastrophe. God could also not force couples to live together and so acceptable divorce came in from Moses through Jesus to Paul. You want to say that is Old Testament, I can only hear that if we don’t have divorces and early deaths among believers today. As a result of these emerging issues we start seeing in the Bible holy men having many wives and concubines. At times not out of their wish but out of necessity e.g in the case of Ruth and Esther. The holiness was in how these holy men dealt with the wives and not going into the one who belongs to your neighbour.
By the way in a country like Botswana the ratio of man to woman is very bad with the number of women being very high. While in Kenya the population is 19,192,378 males and 19,417,719 females meaning 225,343 females are floating. To the Muslims there is no challenge but to the Christians everyone just wishes that it will not be me, my daughter or my sister. Who do you want it to be?
Honestly faced with this practical situation; the Kenya church should now be praying to The Heavenly Father to touch some able men and convict their wives, because of necessity, that they be willing to marry more than one wife. Did not the Children of Israel cry bitterly when they realized that there were not wives for Benjamin (Judges 21)? Is God only concerned about men having wives and not women having husbands? What an unfair God that will be? One day, as I discussed this logic with a Pastor friend of mine, I felt sorry to us when he said ‘leave that to God’. You mean God to come down from heaven and sought out our matters? I wish we are talking of some new phenomenon in life which started just yesterday.
But we are talking of an issue as old creation; well known by the God of the Bible and the Lord Jesus Christ came down to this world, found it practically going on and left it going on and He never made it an issue. Now how else do you want God to solve it? God has given us a clear way of handling issues i.e. in accordance with the written word (the Bible). The church just needs to face the fact that our preaching has what the accountants call, an error of original entry. Somebody, sometime I don’t know when, directed the church the wrong way and we have gone too far for too long. It looks too hard to change foot but it’s better than continuing with hurting hypocrisy until Jesus back.
If we don’t change then I am sorry we have no basis for condemning anybody for their sexual morality. I think I also have the Spirit of God. t is very sad that the so called Christians of today cannot face and solve serious issues of life rather wanting to ‘leave it to God’. This ignorant insensitivity will not take us anywhere. A preacher in desperation the other day said ‘it is like God will have to come and preach by Himself’. He is not alone; by failing to face hard issues in the name of ‘leaving it to God’ we are just saying like him ‘leave that to God’ i.e. let God come and solve it. Holy preaching is about giving direction of God’s way to his people as they face the challenges of life. If our preaching cannot give guidance and God’s way in the face of difficult issues of this life, if it neglects its adherents when faced with difficult situations and only minds about how much tithe they have given: then it is not worth to be called a holy preaching because it’s hurting- the correct term for it is a business which benefit only the owners and that only financially here on earth. As for me I will not despair, but one thing I will do I will only preach and teach what the Bible says. Let God be the judge.
I don’t know why Paul thought of changing this natural situation. Anyway, one thing is clear from his own words; he had the rare unenviable grace of not needing a woman (1 Corinthians 7:7). This then means taking him for a yardstick may not be prudent as we all don’t wish it for our sons. Paul himself noted the increase of immorality and advised that every man and every woman should marry. But I thank God that there is the Apostle Peter. These two Apostles are checks and balances to each other to avoid the excesses of either of them owing to abundance of revelations and diversity of wisdom in dealing with the life issues as they arose on a day to day basis. At one time Paul rebukes Peter openly (Galatians 2:11-14) then comes Peter at another point and declares that some things of Paul are hard to understand and can easily be misunderstood or twisted to our detriment so they need to be taken cautiously (2Peter 3:16).
Make a closer look at Paul’s instruction to the church of that day
Could it be that the idea of Paul that Bishops/Pastors/Overseers and Deacons must be a husband of one wife could be one of those hard things? Imagine the situation in the church that day where most men were definitely polygamous and had believed in the Lord with their wives and children. Among them are those who have well known the doctrine, are well able to correctly divide the word of truth and meet those conditions set out in1Timothy 3:1-13 (only that they have many wives). These brothers had already been given responsibility in the church before Paul gives his instructions. Now Paul rules that they can’t be Pastors or Deacons. Honestly these men know Jesus personally having been in his crusades. They are sure He never condemned them. They have been accepted as they are. I see them wondering surely ‘why should Paul make it difficult for us to serve God?’ I see them say ‘any way he is the leader so we obey for obedience is better than sacrifice’.
It was time for change. So some brothers had to be removed from leadership. The likes of Abraham, Jacob, Boaz, Gideon, David, Solo etc could not meet the criterion and had to step down. I see Brother Judas (not Iscariot) and Thomas saying ‘I hope it will work’. Of course Judas Iscariot left the church never to return after he was stripped of his leadership position. Then there was a leadership crisis as very few people, the likes of Isaac, Joseph and Lot, could qualify as Pastors and Deacons. Just imagine forcing an Abraham-like brother from leadership and replacing him with a Lot-like brother. I imagine this could be one of the occasions where the Apostle Peter will say ‘some things of our brother Paul are hard to understand’. I can see some small churches being closed down for lack of a Pastor just like I did some four years ago. I closed down two churches because in both cases the only person that seemed able to lead the congregation had two wives; one was open about it while the other was doing it secretly.
This idea of Paul even as just written (i.e. talking only of Bishops/Pastors/Overseers and Deacons) was difficult; but now somebody later, and I don’t know who, when and why, did the very thing that Peter feared; twisted the words of Paul and squeezed in the entire church making it the general requirement for all Christians that – A CHRISTIAN MUST BE HUSBAND OF ONLY ONE WIFE. I am yet to see where that is written in the Holy Scriptures. Whoever that fellow is, he put the church in a fix. Such are the servants who will be beaten with many stripes on the Day of Judgment for the Church (Luke 12:47).
Surely the church is in a fix and whenever we pray it’s important to be sober and make sensible requests to our Heavenly Father. Imagine this scenario:-
1) The population ratio is not even regarding men and women
2) Inside any church today the women far outnumber the men; in fact in the first church the women and children were uncountable, only the men could be numbered.
Honestly then in a typical situation where we can have 29 sisters and 21 brothers, what kind of prayer will be made such that each sister gets a husband on a one to one basis. Such a prayer must be made in ignorance by some foolish if not hypocritical batch of believers. And however much anointed the praying preacher is; I tell you some 8 sisters here will remain single. Somebody better say the truth. That is why it is now not a matter of praying but competing and cut throat competition to be more honest. That’s how the other day we ended up with the ugly scenario where five sisters appeared on the wedding day to stop the wedding of the sixth sister in a well respected Pentecostal Church in Nairobi. I never expected such a thing can happen in a Pentecostal Church.
A spillover effect of this fix is that the married women are always kept on their toes lest the husband be taken by that praise team leader, that young widow or that divorcee. And because of this constant stress she fails to perform where it matters most (i.e. the Bedroom). My sisters remember Sarah your mother, she lived with a great peace of mind not afraid or terrified in any way preferring calling her husband Lord (1Peter 3:1-6). Sarah was not bothered about Abraham’s concubines. Who shall save the church from this fix? Thanks be to God for this revelation.
As it is now Christianity is being turned to a religion of heroic single mothers, despised men and stressed married women. The outcome being that marriage is no longer attractive. You like it or not we are in a challenge. Christianity in Africa is not that old being only about 100 years in most parts but in the West where it has existed for centuries you can see what is happening. When the missionaries brought us the Gospel (about 100 years ago) they demonized our polygamy so we adopted monogamy. Now they are bringing same sex marriages and we are again accepting. May God help mankind, may somebody be willing to stand up and be counted and defend the most holy faith from adulteration by the West.
It is true some things of Paul are difficult – at one point he says to be able to serve God without distraction you need not marry. Read 1Corinthians 7:32-35; from this part of scripture the Romans Catholics came up with celibacy. Then at the other point the same Paul says; to be a leader in the church you must be married and with children-Read 1Timothy Chapter 3; then the Protestants take this part of scripture to criticize the Roman Catholics. Then the Protestants say they don’t want to make Nuns but their preaching starts to manufacture Nuns without their consent; may be ‘forced by God’. And the Pentecostals are leading in the making of forced Nuns. Then I wonder why God does not force protestant Men into celibacy! I am just trying to unlock your blocked mind. I believe the Bible should be read in totality, not just reading the part you want. This is people’s life.
By the way, who are the wives of the Apostles?
The New Testament writings overlook a very critical aspect that we could easily have borrowed from. Who are the wives of the Apostles and the key leaders of the New Testament Church? I wish somebody had written them somewhere and be told if any of them had more than one wife before Jesus called them. You see the disciples of Jesus were laymen not drawn from the clergy of the day so I expect their lifestyle was of the ordinary Jews.
The New Testament challenge
The challenge of the New Testament is that it is a very short stint definitely covering less than 100 years of the 1st century. The New Testament overlooks real life issues of real people from birth through marriage to death and burial. You will realize that we have no concrete evidence of how marriages are done in the New Testament; we only follow the West. The one marriage I see is that of Joseph and Marry and there was no ceremony. Joseph just rose from sleep went took Marry and she became is his wife (Matt: 1:24). Then now why do we condemn a young man without much money to feed a whole village when he goes and takes home his wife? Does not the Bible say ‘if a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall marry her’ (Exodus 22:16). I had always thought a holy wedding is the one between a boy and a girl who have not known each other in the flesh but now the weddings which seem to be more wedding than other weddings are those of the married couples. Now then does is it still make sense to condemn somebody’s faith based on how they married?
The New Testament is basically about how to be ready for the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. It sets believers to be foreigners in this world on their way to heaven. Thus having no interest in the matters of the earth. But two thousand and eleven years are over as we still wait. Life has not stopped. This is why we desperately need to look at the Old Testament for direction on matters of life of a people that fear God.
There is none of the pillars of the New Testament for whom we have a complete history from birth to death except only Jesus Christ himself. This is unlike the Old Testament where the full life of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Samson, David, Samuel, Saul etc is so laid down like in a screen, you can see them through. Preacher-man and preacher-woman when you quote Abraham and Sarah in your preaching always remember to say that ‘Abraham had many concubines and Sarah never took issue of that’. I wish we can go back to basics and base our faith on the solid word of God, the Bible, but not on our feelings and conveniences.
The open hypocrisy in the church
My friends, the fellow Preachers I am at a loss what to tell the world because what we are saying should not be done, is what we are doing as they watch. Is it that the Gospel has failed? No not at all, God forbid. Is it that there is a different kind of salvation than the one which was first preached to us by Bishop …… Evangelist ….. Apostle …… Brother …….. Sister ……? I don’t want to name names but I am sure you have a name of a dignitary in the faith with whose name you can fill in my dots, who today is no longer the same and mainly because of ugly sex scandals. If then the salvation they preached to us is not helping them, then ought we to look for a different one? But does any other salvation exist? And if it exists then we have all been liars for too long and we will have all to start again.
It’s evident that there is a misinterpretation of scripture which needs to be looked at again. We are pushing something of our own making that’s why it has no grace to carry itself hence the many challenges. Then we have become the loving stock of the earthen as we preach water and drink wine. They must be seeing that we are funny, because apart from them meeting with us in the same corners they go, they are the ones helping the single mothers, the senior spinsters and widows in our churches. And then we are telling them to get saved and stop sinning; with the only sinning we seem to know being something to do with sex. Yet in this aspect we aim at being holier than Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David etc. I doubt whether it’s necessary to have been holier than Abraham and Moses to make it to heaven; unless you are aspiring for a better mansion than the one for farther Abraham and Moses, yeah even better than for Elijah. You know it’s not clear how Elijah lived with a widow and her small boy (who could not be sent to fetch firewood) in one house for three years (1Kings 17:8-15); it seems like it was not a good testimony! Or how do you see it? Such a man in our standards is….eee….well…well… any way. My friend the Bible says you can destroy yourself by being overly righteous the same way as for being overly wicked, it says a wise man will escape both extremes (Ecclesiastes 7:16-18). Let’s not be extremists like fools. Sex is a biological need – thus a basic need and a basic human right for adults. It is very good and necessary for the physical health of every adult human being.
You are asking me whether I think this will finish sexual immorality. I will tell I am sure it won’t and that is not what I am talking about. I am talking of living our lives the way God set it to be according to the Holy Scriptures and not putting unnecessary burdens on some people and making the way of the cross look like it is unclear and impossible to follow.
You hypocrites, just the other day you excommunicated that girl/boy whose parents are not church members or are not significant then when it came to be your daughter/son or that of the lead Deacon the matter is still unresolved; now you say we are praying for her/him. This then is what Jesus was addressing in Matt: 23:4.
All through the scripture the God of Abraham has never tolerated sexual immorality, in fact on one day they died twenty three thousand because of this terrible sin (1cor.10:8 which is derived from Numbers 25:1-9). Now then I wondered; God hated sexual immorality even in Old Testament yet holy men that time had many wives and concubines which to me is all that I have known as sexual immorality! So what to God is sexual immorality? I wondered until I found a long explanation of sexual immorality, the way God sees it in the Holy Scriptures. Please read Leviticus 18, Numbers 25:1-9 and add Exodus 22:16-17 and you will understand what to God sexual immorality is.
The wicked will not cease in the land. In the Old Testament, besides men having as many wives as they want, they are still rebuked for running to the neighbour’s wife (Jeremiah 5:8-9). The gospel remains clear warning men of the adulterous woman and her seduction tactics and dare consequences of adultery (Prov. 5, Prov. 6:20-35 and Prov.7)
Let the wicked continue being wicked and the righteous continue being righteous (Revelation 22:11). Only one thing, this righteousness is not a guess work or a matter of anybody’s imagination. The standards are as set out in the Holy writings of Christianity which is called the Bible. Unless we have a new God developed from where I don’t know, we still retain the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; yes the God of Moses who changes not. The way our God perceived holiness in the days of Abraham and David is still the same, He has not changed. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever more(Heb:13:8), the same way He was when He was here on earth the same He will be at the Judgment seat. To the Jesus I have learned from the Holy Scriptures, the number of wives one has is not relevant for our being able to see both the Kingdom of God here on earth and being in the Kingdom of Heaven. If it were so He would definitely have said it. If Ezra was able to correct a bad situation where the children of Israel had married foreign women by having those wives returned (Ezra 10:18-44), why could Jesus not have done so or just made a statement that it should not be repeated. He never talked about it so it is irrelevant. I believe in the God of Abraham. It is enough that one attains to the righteousness of Abraham. We will find him in Heaven. You will say that is the Old Testament and I ask that you tell me whether Jesus introduced a new set of sins into the world when he was here on earth. Jesus says He did not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it and no part of the law (Old Testament) shall go unfulfilled (Matt.17:20).
My sister you fear being married a second wife and miss heaven after you have persevered for too long, then I think you are aspiring a heaven where Ruth and Esther cannot pork their nose. At least you admit that it has been perseverance and if that is the case then get me right it is not the will of God. If it was the will of God, He will have made it very clear to you such that you can be very proud of it like Paul and his infirmities (2Cor.12:8-10). You should now be holding seminars and crusades to tell other sisters how nice it is to be a virgin at 40 and for the rest of your life. But you are embarrassing the church when you flock to Nyayo Stadium for prayers from a foreigner as if you have no Pastor in your church or your God can’t hear your prayers. Did you all get husbands after those prayers for which also paid dearly?
There is this other sister for whom all reasonable logic says that marriage is not appropriate; may be children are grown up and settled, you have your investments and you don’t want complications etc but you are still young, healthy, strong and you need that monkey business. To you the Bible is clear; hook up with a believing brother as a friend (concubine) after all I don’t imagine Abraham being in heaven while his concubines are in hell with their only sin being that they were concubines of Abraham.
My brother if you choose to have another wife or even a concubine, be open about it. The holy Men of old, as we have so far seen, were open about it and that’s why it is written in scripture to form part of the Holy Writings. This is the only way to avoid being despised by your wife and others. Stand your ground for you have enough reasons for your actions and show leadership. You are just like other Men in the Bible both Priests and laymen. Read 1 Chronicles 23:17 and see a priest by the name Rehabiah who is recorded to have had ‘very many sons’. Honestly, very many sons are not born of one woman. And please, if you mind about Heaven then keep off your neighbour’s wife. God hates Adultery. I know desperation has made you behave like there is no heaven. Please heaven is real and hell is real; choose where to go.
Married Women hear this: you can’t compete with the written word of God in the name of ravaging on your husband. God hates Adultery and abhors the Adulterous Woman. If you mind about heaven, be faithful to your husband as commanded in the Holy Scriptures.
Be like Sarah your mother.
Now let me make a solemn warning to Isaac and Joseph (the men of God with the grace of only one woman), have due respect for Abraham your father and Jacob (i.e. Israel) the icon of our faith (men of many wives and concubines). Some of you are like Lot and have no shame abusing Abraham. If God has no problem with Abraham helping some Jewish women (believers) who for some reason, not explained, are not to be married but still need the monkey gymnastic: why do you, mortal man, find it an issue? The Bible did not hide them they are called concubines. And the man Abraham found favor with God.
Now I hear what you are saying ‘this man’s teaching is interesting and if not very good then it’s very dangerous but it’s so Bible based that I wonder what is going to happen to the church’. Yes you are very right and that’s why it is a revelation. If you don’t know how gold looks like then you will use a gold bar to scare away birds in the forest or to scare those dogs disturbing your peace at night. Before you discard this revelation think twice it could be your lifeline.
But be careful of HIV/AIDS for the playing field has changed it’s not as easy as in the days of Abraham. Be honest on HIV status, go for a test first.
If you have the special grace of Paul and Anna then don’t condemn others, be happy for them and wish them well like Paul (1Cor:7:7-9). Here Paul says it very honestly ‘I wish all men were as I am but everyone has their own gift ..…so if you can’t exercise self control, marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn with passion’ – crying on your pillow all night or doing some unprintable things there.
To those sisters with husbands I repeat again stop being selfish, tomorrow it could be you or your daughter or sister. The firewood in store does not laugh at the one in the fire. If the Lord calls you to heaven today we will all prevail upon your husband to marry after the mourning period is over. Then what’s wrong with me talking about how a sister can service in a good conscience when her husband has gone to be with the Lord? We have to be honest for God is not unjust to only consider men and not women when it comes to sex. Unless you say that Christian women don’t need sex, they only do it because the husband needs it so if he is gone the woman is freed from that burdensome activity. Let has all take the Bible as it is and believe in it for harmony and success in the present life and the life to come.
What is the basis Christianity?
In as far as we all know, Christianity is based entirely on the Bible but it is so sad that in Christianity as it is now, when dealing with the matters of this life, we follow the Constitution of England and the thinking of the West instead of referring to the Bible. No wonder we are not ashamed deliberating whether homosexuality should be allowed in the church. It is absurd that in Christianity as seen in the West; it is an abomination for a man to have two wives yet it is a man’s acceptable right, both in law and in Church, to marry another man and be a Christian; likewise it’s an abomination for a Woman to be married a second wife; yet it’s her constitutional right, in law and in Church, to marry another Woman. That is sickening. They call it civilization; then I wonder whether this is the civilization we will preach or the Bible. Why do we have Gen. 1:27-28 and Romans 1:18-32? I have nothing personal against the homosexuals, it is their right to whatever sexual behavior they feel like but I also have my right to defend the most holy faith. I would that they come up with their own religion and craft their own teachings. There are very many religions and each religion has its own sacred teachings which hold them together. Christianity is based on the teachings of the Bible which are very clear. It says God made them man and woman and commanded them to go and multiply and fill the earth (Gen. 1:27-28). Now if you don’t ascribe to the Bible teachings why should you want to be called a Christian? I wonder why they don’t complain of being discriminated against in the mosques.
This is the outcome of a slow drift; Christianity has drifted so surely and systematically from the Bible over the years that today anybody wants to bring in whatever they think and demand that it be accepted. After all we have condoned many unbiblical things; why not this one. And I feel so irritated when a respected Bishop says ‘the God I serve will not take this homosexuality debate as a big issue’. That’s definitely somebody talking of a different kind of god not the God of the Bible.
Honestly we the Pentecostals have a duty to explain to the rest of the Church (the mainstream Churches) where we were going to when we departed from them. We have come back to where they are and even sunk below. We have jumped and landed at the same place or even much lower. I have noted interestingly that the challenge to this hard preaching of holiness (overly biased to sexual purity) starts when the children of those hitherto enthusiastic preachers grow up (from teens and above) and start to face the hard realities of this life. Coincidentally this also happens to be the time when their parents are in their 40’s, an age of new challenges in the family (where some women get carried away by careers that sex becomes an afterthought while some men at this age have now settled and to them life as begun). So now we need another breed of preachers to rise up and preach to us very powerfully and with great zeal, which will continue until they hit the rock bottom after a few years and then we ask them the same question we are being asked. Where were you going?
Somebody should get out of pretense and face the fact according to the scriptures for I am sure, and now you also know, all these issues are clearly addressed in the scriptures.
In as much as the Bible is inherent, the Holy ghost allowed the inscription of words like “some things of Paul are hard to understand which some people twist to their own distraction”, “this is me and I think I also have the Spirit”, “let prophets prophesy one or two and let the others judge” etc. This means that at any time men and women full of the Holy Ghost can make a council and look at things clearly.
Brothers and Sisters in the Lord, I know you may want to crucify me but I think I also have the Spirit of God. I am just being honest. These are weighty matters, consider them carefully. We can make a difference and safe the future of the most holy faith – Christianity. Don’t just criticize blindly: we are dealing with real life not a rehearsal. What alternative thinking do you have to the ever increasing number of lonely hearts and tarnished image of Christianity?
In the name of Jesus I challenge you that when you read this article, read it again and make a copy for your friend, Pastor and Bishop. I am very eager to see this revelation being carefully and keenly considered by all Christians all over the World. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless his church now and forever more. Amen and amen.
Reverent Honest – running in the night like Nehemiah (Nehemiah 2:12-13) because some of you will want to crucify me.
Copyright 2012: Only free circulation is allowed
- The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable (unchallengeable).
Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you. It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, the pilot’s compass, the soldier’s sword, and the Christian’s charter. Here paradise is restored, heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed.
Christ is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its end.
It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory, and a river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.
By – The Gideons International
2. The New Testament sets the believer to be very ready for the return of Jesus Christ any time like a thief in the night. It sets us focused with eyes looking up to the soon coming of the messiah.
The Old Testament gives examples of real lives lived by real men and women all their lifetime, showing how they faced real challenges of a long life and how they came out as God’s darling. Their history is openly written for our example as we go through this long life waiting for the return of our savior, the expectation which has so far taken the lifetime of many generations of believers and may still take the lifetime of us who are alive today and several of our generations to come.
It thus means a sober, successful, far sighted believer must take careful interest in both testaments. Only then will we be able to carry on the pure faith and pass it on from generation to generation till the return of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Amen. By – Reverent Honest
- He who cannot change the very fabric of his thoughts will never be able to change really and will never therefore make any progress.
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change, until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts.
By- Professor Paul Syagga (University of Nairobi)
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The Rise of Lonely Hearts: Unmarried Women in the Church and the shaming of men