Kenya’s electoral body is alarmed by the deteriorating situation in America’s hotly contested election primaries. With insults, mudslinging and personality based-politics taking centre stage, Kenyan officials have decided to send a team of experts to the land of Uncle Sam to conduct civic education and ensure a peaceful, free and fair elections.
The civic education program is intended to help Americans vote on issues, rather than personality in the manner that Kenyans have always done.
“It is time they started practising mature politics like we Africans… the politics of personality are outdated. Embracing our kind of democracy is the only way they will be able to lift millions of their people out of poverty like we have done!” announced one Kenyan official who’s handling the civic education program.
Of particular concern to the Kenyan officials is how the elections in the United States are turning into an ugly street fight.
“That kind of behaviour by politicians cannot be tolerated in a civilised world… but anyway we understand. All young democracies take time to grow… they should just be patient!” said another official.
But immediately Americans learnt of Kenya’s plans, they loudly denounced it, accusing one of their biggest donors of trying to influence the kind of leader they will elect.
“We are a free people and we will not accept being dictated to. We will elect reality stars if we want and it’s none of your business!” said one angry American. “You Africans have a hidden agenda and we will not allow it! If it means keeping your aid you can keep it!”
Fledgling fortunes
The ruling party in America accused Kenya of being in bed with the opposition and also for trying to help the opposition take over power.
“This is a conspiracy to help the opposition win. It is imperialism and we will not accept it!” said one ruling party official.
It is also understood that some NGOs involved in the coordination of the civic education that Kenya is funding have been threatened with deregistration for what is being claimed to be subversive activities against the ruling party and a democratically elected government.
To help turn around its fledgling fortunes, the ruling party is now running on an anti-foreign forces platform which it hopes will help generate euphoria and help it sweep back to power.
Besides, Kenya also donating funds to boost the electoral commission of America. They intend to help the commission to curb rigging and other electoral malpractices. Kenya is also urging the US government to issue ID cards to all young people to ensure their participation as voters.
Foreign interference
“It is important that in a democracy all eligible persons are given a chance to vote…” said another Kenyan official involved in the civic education project. Other than interference from foreigners, Americans have also condemned the culture of media organisations from all over the world descending on their country as if expecting bloodletting violence during this election cycle.
“They only bother about us during election time. Sorry, we are not going to go up in flames to get you headlines…” another angry American is said to have said of the foreign media organisations that can’t wait for the slightest sign of things going wrong and come up with sensational headlines.
In related news, reports saying that Kenya has asked all its citizens in the United States to leave because their security and safety cannot be guaranteed during the elections have been found to be false. “No, it was just a travel advisory we issued to last until after the elections,” clarified a Kenyan official at the foreign affairs ministry.
-sde.co.ke
