“This is a story of a depressed mother picked from whattapp group for share. It’s not an isolated case as many go through similar and not yet told experiences”. Who knows?… it can be a lesson to some people going through such experiences.
My name is Charity Mfula, I am 51. I was once a very successful woman, I was among the first people in Zambia to start a business of supplying the Indians and Lebanese in Kamwala business centre.
I used to go to Mauritius, Seychelles, Dubai, China etc, to order things for sale in Zambia.
I was once married to the late Henry Mfula and God blessed us with two children, Alex born in 1984 and Bright born in 1987.
I regret the many mistakes my husband and I made. My husband and I had so much money, but we never used to entertain visitors in our house._
We isolated ourselves from all our relatives. It was only my husband, the kids and I. We never used to attend functions organized by our poor relatives and we also never used to attend funerals whenever a poor relative died. To us it was a share waste of time.
Visitors were not welcomed at our place and in unlikely event that we received a visitor, my husband and I would give that visitor a silent treatment.
We would get our kids and go spend a night at the hotel, leaving the visitor at home with the maid and the garden boy. And we would make sure we lock the fridges and the store room before leaving the house.
Only well to do visitors were welcome at our place. Relatives would come home asking for money to pay for their Children’s school fee but my husband and I never used to assist them.
In 1997 my husband’s nephew, who used to live in Bauleni came home kneeling, asking for exam fees for his final exams at Evelyn Hone._
We had money in the house but we could not help him, the boy ended up missing his exams.
Then again there was a relative called Monica who came from Kabwe, she was hit by a vehicle at Soweto Market in Lusaka and sustained a broken knee.
She was admitted at the university Teaching Hospital for two months, and doctors at UTH advised that she should be taken to Zambia-Italian Orthopedic Hospital in Lusaka. Her elder sister called my husband asking for money but we refused to help. The girl ended up having her leg amputated. She became depressed and died a few months later.
My husband and I were too excited with wealth, and did not care what our relatives were saying behind our backs. As time went by, My husband Started having difficulties maintaining a steady stream of urine, he started experiencing excessive urination at night, frequent urination, urge to urinate and leaking, and urinary retention.
I took him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer.? A surgery called radical prostatectomy was immediately recommended.
The doctors removed the entire prostate gland plus some of the tissue around it, but it was too late, he died a month later on August 19, 2008. Actually he died the day our former republican President Patrick Levy Mwanawasa Died.
Then after his death, things started to go wrong. My husband left a lot of debt, we had to sell all the properties, including the house to pay off the debts.
We shifted from Roma residential area to Shimabala, where we started living in an incomplete house with no running water and electricity.
My first born son was then at Zambia Institute Of Management (Zamim) in second year studying Zica. He had to drop out of college due to lack of money.
My children grew up rich, they did not know how poverty felt like. It was their first time experiencing poverty.
I blame myself for their up-bringing because we really spoiled them when they were growing up.
My children became depressed and became drunks. They all shifted from Shimabala and started living in shifty compounds. My first born Son, Alex started living with an elderly woman in Msisi Compound, while my other son, Bright moved to Mtendere where he started living with his friends.
Alex became addicted to alcohol and drugs and in 2012 he got very sick, he was found with tuberculosis. He was put on medication. He lost a lot of weight and became very dark as a result of taking the TB drugs. And when he was discharged from the hospital i convinced him to come live with me in Shimabala.
His health improved a bit and when he felt better, he ran away from home, went back to his elderly woman and stopped taking his medicine. About eight months later he was back at UTH , and this time his health had deteriorated. He started coughing blood and died. My son was buried just like an animal. There was no money to buy a coffin, Non of my relatives wanted to have anything to do with my family. I had to sell my phone in Katondo street at k500 and I had to go to buseko market where a carpenter made a coffin for my son and that is how he was buried.
Then in 2015, Bright also died. I am told he had an STI and did not tell anyone.* *He was found dead in an unfinished building in Mtendere.
His friends bought a coffin and that was how he was buried. And to make matters worse the owner of the house in Shimabala plans to complete the house so he asked me to vacate the house. Life has been hard for me, my relatives have all abandoned me. Things are just hard in my life. I am now renting a bedsitter at Kangwa in Libala.
I sold the last assert I had, a piece of land at k4000 and used the money to pay rentals for three months in advance. I do not know where I will find money to pay for rent when it is due in November . What goes around comes back around, the measure you use in treating others is the same measure you others will give you, the law of gravity says whatever goes up it will surely comes down…. Treat others well when things are well so that when things are bad people will accommodate you and know that no condition is permanent everything has an expiry date.
D.K Gitau
Kenyan Parents in USA
