Last week I made an introduction that our diasporian community -and our mother nation- is largely divided mainly by tribe, religion and gender among other subdivisions, this week, I would like to take a close look at gender division.
Before I proceed allow me to define a complex compound experienced by all of us but one that has gone undefined! That is male supremacy; in all fairness, and with regard to accuracy is an acquired false feeling of "betterness", An inflated sense of self-importance deeply rooted in male-ness that has destroyed lots of us who are male to say nothing as it pertains to the damages rendered to the females.
Now first I said acquired because it is my contention that we are not genetically predisposed to the superiority propaganda that we manifest especially after marriage, it is taught to us, albeit indirect, around the same time that we learn how to ride a bicycle and like riding a bike, once you get it you never forget it. We are conditioned to masculinity. we have been conditioned against house work and here I mean cooking, cleaning, bathing children, all of these bring shame to us as men if not all together seem to threaten our entire manhood, that is why for those who wonder what causes domestic violence? Anything that might seem like it could threaten manhood or masculinity, guys that is a bomb and we know it.
I further contend that we must do a serious self assessment, self reflection, for lots of reasons and these are some of them; For our own sake, for our own happiness, and really for our own sanity it occurs to me that we are going to have to give up the conditioning and embrace our lives our challenges of our time that way we do not have to lie to our women so as not to cook!
To sustain any family together we surely need to do our part this is not to help the women I guarantee you women will liberate themselves, but for the sake of equity, we really must look at ourselves.
For the sake of our young boys not yet locked up in the male prison of entitlement and expectations we need to change so that we do not pass down to them the pathologies that we inherited.
We got to decide if we are in this gender-and there is nothing we can do about that or even ought to do about it or if we are of this gender, we are in it but we are not of it we are much better and more prudent, and therefore it is our job to have this conversation take ownership of our piece of it as the women take ownership of theirs.