Married and Kenyan men leaving their wives to live in Kenya
An increasing number of Kenyan men in the UK are leaving their wives and setting base in Kenya- in the name of supervising investments and projects while in truth many are simply running away from the cruelty of their wives.
These men I suspect are going to Kenya to look for the more peaceful, considerate and ultimately sexually exciting women. I am aware of several cases and have been struck by the fact that all those wives being abandoned seem to be otherwise peaceful and religious people. Their husbands are in most cases successful financially.
How and why does a man decide one day to just leave his wife and their children and be away for six months, a year or two?
This is painful especially as its the innocent children who suffer.
I always remember my mum when I think of what has become of some Kenyan husbands and wives abroad. My mother was an educated woman and so was my father- a former senior civil servant and later director with several big companies in Kenya. In their early marriage years, my father was not always organised and had a drink problem and a high appetite for pretty women. My mum told me words I remember to this day THAT A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY OR HOME DEPENDS RATHER LITTLE ON WHAT THE MAN DOES BUT THE KIND OF WIFE HE HAS. My dad was making a lot of money from employment but he wasnt always organised. Mums organisational skills ensured little of dads high income went to waste. We had a very good upbringing and life as a family and did very well in school. All of us- seven children got above degree education and are all happily married and doing well in life. Our first born sister who has a PhD says she still believes being a wife and a mother is more important than the education or the very good job she does as regional director of an international agency based in Nairobi. Look at some Kenyans abroad-a diploma in housing or community work or nursing and suddenly your husband or wife is backward and village like. You treat them badly now that you are educated or earning more. HOW CHEAP.
Due to Mums commitment and example, my father eventually changed his bad ways and became different and betterand succeeded greatly both in his career and business. Now in their 70s they are quietly and happily enjoying a peaceful retirement in one of the very good and affluent parts of Kenya. He always says without mum-he would have been nothing. I am sure many other Kenyans in this forum can relate to my story and experience. MUTUMIA MUGI NIMWEGA GUKIRA UTONGA -NAKE URIA MUKIGU KANA KIRIMU NI MURU GUKIRA MUROGI.
Its the lesson Kenyan wives in the UK and abroad need to learn. Papers, British and American passports and money mean little I tell you. What I remember about home isnt money or comfort-it is the many happy moments we shared as a family and I know without mum-things would have been very different. My fathers wealth, education and his good job alone would have meant little OR NOTHING. A stable and loving family is worth more than plots and houses.
Since you married this man-use your God given strengths (and every woman/wife has these in different ways) to influence your husband for the better rather than stupidly manipulating him and then moaning that ALL KENYAN MEN ARE THE SAME-MARAYA (Promiscuous). If you have chosen to be someones wife, let him realise he is fortunate to have you- not by showing off or going naked or denying him sex or being the woman who knows everything about other peoples homes – but by being the responsible wife described so clearly in the holy book- a good wife is priceless and he who finds one has found something good.
For husbands, your first duty after God is to your wife-NOT EVEN the children or your extended family. Love, listen and always treat your wife fairly.
For wives dont treat your husband badly and moan that he has run away from home-he is running away from you. Other women will tell you GUKU NI RURAYA NA MUTHURI NDARI BATA-WINA RAITI CIAKU NOGUITA CIA WANGU (FORITHI).NINDAKUGEITHIA.
One day you will be alone and they will from a corner laugh at just how thick you were-that instead of building your home-you demolished it brick by brick-RUBAU KWA RUBAU NA IBATI KWA IBATI.
MWATHANI AROTUTEITHIA ITHUOTHE TURI NJIRA YA KURA ONA NII HAMWE.
IRUMI, NJINU, MIHWA NA MIARIO MIURU NI KARIFU MUNO.