Guard Against Toxic Relationships-Emotional Relationships
The term “emotional affair” might not be familiar to some, because it seems so harmless that people seldom address it as an unhealthy relationship. An emotional affair occurs when a married person is emotionally tied to someone other than his or her spouse. Seeking emotional fulfillment from someone outside the marriage is not right, and it leads to an unhealthy relationship.
People who feel emotionally disconnected from their spouses are vulnerable to emotional affairs. Lacking that emotional connection with their spouses, they may find another person of the opposite sex to meet their emotional needs. When this bond forms and they don’t immediately disconnect, they will transfer more and more emotional ties to the sympathizer. Unfortunately, people involved in emotional affairs often don’t feel guilty about them because there is no sex involved. However, emotional affairs often lead to a full-blown sexual affair. According to a MSNSC report, About half of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into full-blown affairs, sex and all. Infidelity researcher Shirley P. Glass also asserts that 82 percent of affairs happen with someone who was at first ‘just a friend.’
Not guarding against an emotional affair (even one that is not sexual), will adversely affect a marriage, further separating the couple. The Bible clearly states in Ephesians 5:3: But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. The key to guarding yourself against an emotional affair is learning to confront unresolved issues and investing the time to develop an honest and open relationship with your spouse. Depending upon your spouse as your source of emotional fulfillment will create a strong marriage bond and protect your relationship from outside threats. Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things (Hebrews 13:4 Amplified).
Relationship Solutions
The key to freedom is to end toxic relationships. You do not need to maintain relationships that are not adding value to your life. Of course, ending a relationship with people you have known for a long time is not easy, but it is necessary if you want to lead a more productive life. You may fear the consequences and pain of losing such relationships; however, the consequences of keeping them are far worse. Choosing to move on can be awkward, and you cannot avoid feeling the loss. However, do not cave to such feelings and retrieve that toxic relationship. Keep moving on and those awkward feelings will lessen with time.
As painful as separations are, the benefits far outweigh the losses. A healthy separation gives you an opportunity to find yourself after living in the shadow of someone else. It also provides you a chance to make choices that best suit you, not someone else. But even more importantly, a separation offers you the opportunity to pursue healthy relationships.
Just because you have lived with toxic relationships doesn’t mean healthy relationships do not exist. You probably already know healthy and positive people who can influence you for the better. Maybe you wonder how a healthy relationship looks. It looks like being accepted for who you are, without anyone trying to change you to make you fit in. In a healthy relationship, you can be yourself. You can love and be loved.
Also, in a healthy relationship others care for you and act considerately. They respect you as a person, lovingly let you know when you are wrong, and help you to make right choices. In a healthy relationship, the give and take flows both ways. According to Scripture, relationships are supposed to be edifying. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. When we pursue such relationships, they add value to us and bring the best out of us.
To be continued next week….
Guard Against Toxic Relationships
(Part 3)
By Boniface G. Gitau
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Guard Against Toxic Relationships-Emotional Relationships
