Conversation between Lord Jesus Christ, 147 saints and four terrorists

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Angelic presence in tunnel of lightThe twinkling of an eye. That’s roughly one-tenth of a second. That’s the time it takes to whoosh from here to hereafter. And that’s the time it takes the 147 saints and four terrorists to transition.
But the two are divided by a great chasm. Saints on one side; sinners on the other. As if on cue, on seeing Jesus Christ on the other side, the four fall on their knees. Meanwhile, the 147 saints worship the one who was and is to come.
Terrorist One: I felt like a huge force pulled my knees to the ground. Against my resistance. Hey, isn’t this the one we call Issa, the prophet?
Voice from heaven: At the mention of the name of Jesus Christ, every knee shall bow, and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord.
Terrorists: Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus …

Saint Anastasia, pointing across the chasm: Jesus, that’s the guy who told me to say theshahada, and confess that Mohammed is the Prophet. Which was, basically, tantamount to denying You, Lord Jesus. I refused. And I started confessing using a song that the Holy Spirit brought to my lips. That’s when he shot me, pointblank, through the head. For me? To live is Christ, and to die is gain. Selah.
Jesus Christ: That song always blesses my soul, although I knew it was a SOS. Can you sing it?
Saint Anastasia, singing: Nobody greater. Nobody greater, Jesus. Nobody greater than You.
The saints join in, singing along, worshipfully, hands lifted: Searched all over, couldn’t find nobody. I looked high ‘n low, still couldn’t nobody …
Terrorist four, whispering to his accomplice, who’s kneeling next to him: Where are the seventy virgins we were promised we’d get for our services?
Jesus Christ: I can hear you from here. In fact, I know your thoughts. And right now you’re thinking five words, “I wish I knew better”. Am I right, or am I absolutely right?
Terrorist four: I wish I knew better, Lord Jesus. Now I know that there’s nobody greater than You.
Jesus Christ: How could you fall for such baloney? For in the resurrected state neither do men marry nor are women given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
All the 147 saints, singing worshipfully in the background: Nobody can heal, like You can. O Most Holy One, You are the Great I Am …
Terrorist three: Lord Jesus, have pity and mercy on me. Please send one of the saints to dip the tip of their finger in water and cool my tongue, for I’m in anguish in this flame.
Jesus Christ: Child, remember that in your lifetime you wielded the power of death over these saints. But now they’re comforted here and you’re in anguish. Besides, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who want to pass from this place to you may not be able, and no one may pass from there to us.
Terrorist three: Then, Christ Jesus, I beseech you to send him to my father’s house. For I have five brothers; so that they may be given solemn testimony and warned, lest they too come into this place of torment.
All the 147 saints, singing worshipfully in the background: Nobody greater. Nobody greater, Jesus. Nobody greater than You.
Jesus Christ: Your brothers have My servants; let them hear and listen to them.
Terrorist one: No, Lord Jesus, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they’ll repent.
Jesus Christ: If they don’t hear and listen to My servants, neither will they be persuaded and convinced and believe even if someone should rise from the dead.
Terrorist Two: What about the teachings of our prophet, which, since childhood, we’ve been told are the truth and nothing but, and are the way to eternal life?
Jesus Christ: I am the Way and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.
Saint Veronica: Lord Jesus, when these four went on a killing spree, we cried out to You. But You still allowed them take our lives. Why didn’t You stop them?
Jesus Christ: Saints, I gave y’all my word. I swore that I’ll never leave you or forsake you. Come, child, there’s something I want you to see.
The Messiah shows Veronica what heaven was up to before, during and after the mayhem. Which makes her jaw to drop.
All the martyrs: What is it?
Saint Veronica: My lips are sealed. I’ve heard utterances beyond the power of man to put into words, which man is not permitted to utter.
Terrorist three: Lord Jesus, please have mercy on us. We didn’t know what we were doing.
Jesus Christ: Knowing what you all know now, what do you have to say?
Terrorists: Nobody greater. Nobody greater, Jesus. Nobody greater than You.
Jesus Christ: And what does the Word of God say?
Saint Sebastian: Because they poured out the blood of Your people, the saints, You have given them blood to drink. Such is their due. They deserve it.
Saint Christian: Or, like ain’ts – and even some saints – like saying on earth, “Y’all can go to hell”. For real.

-humourservice.com

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